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Nowadays youngsters buy new clothes and follow latest fashion. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays youngsters buy new clothes and follow latest fashion. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? QwVoK
On the one hand, there are some disadvantages of opting latest fashion. First and the foremost is that a person has a variety of clothes to wear on different occasions. Moreover, numerous clothes helps to break the monotony, as new outfits provide spark in dull and boring life. In addition to this, more companies will set up which helps to increase the employment rate. If a person wear new attires, it will make them less conscious at public places. Latest fashion clothes also boost the morale of the person. On the other hand, i believe that demerits are more as compare to merits of wearing latest trend clothes. The main disadvantage is that buying latest clothes is simply wastage of money. Sometimes children pester their parents to buy trendy clothes, which upset their family budget. Spending time on purchasing new clothes is just a sheer waste of time. What is more, there are some people who follow vulgarity and vulgar outfits by watching pictures from magazines and believe that it is a fashion. Additionally, latest clothes also lead to discrimination among rich and poor people because downtrodden families are not able to purchase new clothes, as a consequence they feel inferior as compare to elite people. To conclude, although there are some positives of having a new clothes, i believe that negatives of this outstrip the positives.
On the one hand, there are
some
disadvantages of opting
latest
fashion.
First
and the foremost is that a person has a variety of
clothes
to wear on
different
occasions.
Moreover
, numerous
clothes
helps
to break the monotony, as
new
outfits provide spark in dull and boring life.
In addition
to this, more
companies
will set up which
helps
to increase the employment rate. If a person wear
new
attires, it will
make
them less conscious at public places.
Latest
fashion
clothes
also
boost the morale of the person.
On the other hand
,
i
believe that demerits are more
as
compare to merits of wearing
latest
trend
clothes
. The main disadvantage is that buying
latest
clothes
is
simply
wastage of money.
Sometimes
children pester their parents to
buy
trendy
clothes
, which upset their family budget. Spending time on purchasing
new
clothes
is
just
a sheer waste of time.
What is more
, there are
some
people
who follow vulgarity and vulgar outfits by watching pictures from magazines and believe that it is a fashion.
Additionally
,
latest
clothes
also
lead to discrimination among rich and poor
people
because
downtrodden families are not able to
purchase
new
clothes
, as a consequence they feel inferior as compare to elite
people
.
To conclude
, although there are
some
positives of having a
new
clothes
,
i
believe that negatives of this outstrip the positives.
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IELTS essay Nowadays youngsters buy new clothes and follow latest fashion. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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