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Nowadays, young people seem to be under too much pressure to succeed from their parents.

Nowadays, young people seem to be under too much pressure to succeed from their parents. XoJ3Y
Never before has living conditions been so favourable, although much of the youth is experiencing stress on similarly unprecedented levels. In fact, there is significant pressure on them for success, particularly from their parents. This essay will discuss the origins and impacts of the contemporary parental pressure for their offspring to succeed. There are multiple factors that originate such pressure. First and foremost, there is sustenance, suggesting that parents emphasise success in order for their offspring to provide themselves and their families a decent life. Then, there is the hope for increased social standings. The expectations are more ambitious as young people are pressed into attaining wealth, recognition, and influence. Such is the case for multiple prodigies, who are expected to use their talents to advance their career and status beyond the scope of earning a liveable wage. In the end, maintaining families and reaching higher statuses usually stems from the goodwill of the parents, wanting the youth to have the optimal conditions. Nevertheless, the physical consequences are enormous. The reality is, success in the modern age often equates to financial wealth, which usually demands long work hours. Regardless of whether a young person has a blue- or grey-collar profession, overworking is bound to have negative physical health impacts, from mild problems such as fatigue to fatal ones such as cardiac arrest attributed to excessive physical toil or lack thereof. A notable example is Japan, where the tradition of work dedication - mostly passed down through generations - has made much of the modern Japanese youth work to death. There are mental issues to consider as well. Mainly, the pressure to succeed and meet familial expectations has the potential to make young people suffer from stress, depression, among other mental health problems. In the aforementioned nation of Japan, suicide rates have skyrocketed in recent years as the working youth collapse from being forced to work for success. Another point is the strained relationship between the youth and their parents. The reason is that, the pressure and associated problems may fuel resentment, eventually leading to broken family bonds. All in all, the parental pressure to succeed tend to originate from the desire for sustenance or status, and it has physical and mental burdens on the modern young generation. In my opinion, it is imperative for both sides to engage in open exchange in order to resolve the differences and prevent unnecessary pressure
Never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
has living conditions been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
, although much of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
is experiencing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on
similarly
unprecedented levels. In fact, there is significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on them for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
particularly
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This essay will discuss the origins and impacts of the contemporary parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
for their offspring to succeed.

There are multiple factors that originate such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
.
First
and foremost, there is sustenance, suggesting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in order for their offspring to provide themselves and their families a decent life. Then, there is the hope for increased social standings. The expectations are more ambitious as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are pressed
into attaining wealth, recognition, and influence. Such is the case for multiple prodigies, who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their talents to advance their career and status beyond the scope of earning a liveable wage. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, maintaining families and reaching higher statuses
usually
stems from the goodwill of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, wanting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to have the optimal conditions.

Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
consequences are enormous. The reality is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in the modern age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
equates to financial wealth, which
usually
demands long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours. Regardless of whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person has a blue- or
Possible spelling mistake found.
grey-collar
profession, overworking
is bound
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health impacts, from mild problems such as fatigue to fatal ones such as cardiac arrest attributed to excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
toil or lack thereof. A notable example is Japan, where the tradition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
dedication
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
mostly
passed down through generations
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
has made much of the modern Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to death.

There are mental issues to consider
as well
.
Mainly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
to succeed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
familial expectations has the potential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression, among other mental health problems. In the aforementioned nation of Japan, suicide rates have skyrocketed in recent years as the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
collapse from
being forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Another point is the strained relationship between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The reason is that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and associated problems may fuel resentment,
eventually
leading to broken family bonds.

All in all, the parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
to succeed tend to originate from the desire for sustenance or status, and it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental burdens on the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation. In my opinion, it is imperative for both sides to engage in open exchange in order to resolve the differences and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
unnecessary
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
pressure

IELTS essay Nowadays, young people seem to be under too much pressure to succeed from their parents.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
400 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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