Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

advantanges and disavantges of having a part-time job

advantanges and disavantges of having a part-time job NW06y
There is no doubt that, part-time work is a popular job for young people, especially students. However, I strongly believe that this trend would bring both benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, doing part-time jobs can offer tremendous advantages. Firstly, it would help you earn money. In other words, you can help your parents and pay tuition. Secondly, part-time jobs is help you gain a lot of experience. It means that you being are capable of make new friends and tend to be successful in the future. Secondly, doing part-time jobs can increase salary. Your parents won't pay tuition for you. All most you have lots of experience in your life and then you have another relationship. On the other hand, there are disadvantages to working part-time. First of all, a part-time job may cause several problems with health. It is believed that students who cannot get enough sleep and often feel tired. That can lead to some sicknesses. Besides, there are obvious disadvantages to a part-time job. First of all, pupils may not have time for study, so the result of their study is likely to be bad. Secondly, this trend would affect health because most students do not have enough time to rest. Thus, they cannot finish their course in time and suffer from the money pressure. To sum up, there are both benefits and drawbacks of having a part-time job. I hold a firm belief that people beings had better learn how to maximize the advantages as well as minimize the disadvantages. Especially, students should balance both their studies and part-time jobs so as not to adversely affect their studies.
There is no doubt that, part-time work is a popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, I
strongly
believe that this trend would bring both benefits and drawbacks.

On the one hand, doing part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can offer tremendous advantages.
Firstly
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you earn money.
In other words
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
your parents and pay tuition.
Secondly
, part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience. It means that you being are capable of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends and tend to be successful in the future.
Secondly
, doing part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can increase salary. Your parents won't pay tuition for you. All most you have lots of experience in your life and then you have another relationship.

On the other hand
, there are disadvantages to working part-time.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
may cause several problems with health. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
sleep and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel tired. That can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sicknesses.
Besides
, there are obvious disadvantages to a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, pupils may not have time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the result of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
Secondly
, this trend would affect health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to rest.
Thus
, they cannot finish their course in time and suffer from the money pressure.

To sum up, there are both benefits and drawbacks of having a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I hold a firm belief that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
beings had better learn how to maximize the advantages
as well
as minimize the disadvantages.
Especially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should balance both their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as not to
adversely
affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay advantanges and disavantges of having a part-time job

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Talk about the current garbage situation and solve the problemv
    The garbage problem Garbage is a major issue all around the world. Such trash includes paper, glass, metal, plastic, wood as well as food scraps. However, our natural environment may get rid of these leftovers owing to insects and microorganisms that digest the leftovers. In contrast, takeout coffee...
  • 6band
    Write an essay to discuss who should take the responsibilities of food safety.
    Food safety is a burning issue that people face day by day but there is no appropriate solution to handle it. Talk about who is responsible for this, I think the main ones are food manufacturers, governments and consumers. Because they influence to supply and demand of the food market. First and fo...
  • 5band
    who should take the responsibilities of food safety.
    Who should take the responsibilities of food safety has always been a controversial issue. I take the view that the responsibility of food safety is shared between the government and the individuals. The responsibility of food safety is shared by many parties. Consumers are the most important party...
  • 6band
    8. Advantages and disadvantages of working from home
    The internet has enabled individuals to work remotely from home rather than commuting to work on a regular basis, which has transformed the way we work. From my perspective, this evolution offers both benefits and drawbacks. On the plus side, the opportunity to work from home provides a person with...
  • 6band
    What are the benefits and drawbacks of shopping malls? Do we need more of them?
    Shopping malls are convenient places where everyone can go to do many things. Currently, there are many shopping malls worldwide, and they have many different styles. Moreover, In today's world, shopping malls are a significant part of some people's life. On the other hand, there are few shopping ma...
  • 6band
    Why is it so important to help other people in need?
    Currently, individuals oversee and ignore bad situations when other need assistance as they think that these stories are not their business. However, I would say that assisting has a number of benefits to yourself because of the following reasons. First and foremost, If you assist each others who a...





Get more results for topic:
  • advantanges and disavantges of having a part-time job