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Nowadays, young people prefer searching for news about famous people in the world rather than their national history. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to improve the knowledge about history?

Nowadays, young people prefer searching for news about famous people in the world rather than their national history. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to improve the knowledge about history? 75B9n
In this day and age, it is prevalently believed that adolescents have a preference/inclination/tendency to go search for the latest news of their favorite famous individuals rather than the historical events of their own nations This is due to two specific grounds/reasons that will be discussed/analyzed in this essay accompanied by/followed by some effective sollutions. The significant reason for this trend is that/one of the main=chief/fundamental social media nowadays such as kenh14 are rarely post some historical news because news producers want to update trends/catch up with the latest trends from famous people to attract more young people read these to increase their popularity. Hence, young generations forget their country’s history gradually and gradually. This is actually a warning for everyone that can make them forget historical tradition. In order to solve this problem, all news brands as well as social media for teenagers should have some posts about national history but also put some interesting factors in these. For instance, if teenagers like reading news about their famous people, news authors can write topic about heroes in the past by the most attractive way so this solution help young generation feel more excited with this topic and then they will research these heroes more. To sum up, history is the best thing for young people to discover as well as educate. Although the firgue of people who are interested in national history is declining, we can’t negate that having historical knowledge is really important and necessary
In this day and age, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
prevalently
believed that adolescents have a preference/inclination/tendency to go search for the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of their favorite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
individuals
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nations This is due to two specific grounds/reasons that will
be discussed
/analyzed in this essay accompanied by/followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective
Possible spelling mistake found.
sollutions
.

The significant reason for this trend is that/one of the main=chief/fundamental social media nowadays such as kenh14 are rarely
Consider using a past participle here: "posted".
post
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
producers want to update trends/catch up with the latest trends from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
read these to increase their popularity.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations forget their country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
gradually
and
gradually
. This is actually a warning for everyone that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them forget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
tradition.

In order to solve this problem, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
brands
as well
as social media for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
posts about national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interesting factors in these.
For instance
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
like reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
authors can write topic about heroes in the past by the most attractive way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this solution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation feel more excited with this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
topic and
Did you mean "than"?
then
they will research these heroes more.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the best thing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to discover
as well
as educate. Although the
Possible spelling mistake found.
firgue
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are interested
in national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is declining, we can’t negate that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
knowledge is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
necessary
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IELTS essay Nowadays, young people prefer searching for news about famous people in the world rather than their national history. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to improve the knowledge about history?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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