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describe the job in the future

describe the job in the future gGpMD
I’m a worker. I work for a leather shoe company. It’s about 3. 5 km from my house, so I go to work by electric bike. From Monday to Saturday, I go out at 7 a. m for work and get home at 7. 30 p. m or 8 p. m. Sometimes, I have to work all week. I’m busy but I am used to it. I can go to work every day and earn money. It’s great. I’m lucky because I have a good leader. He never scolds me and teaches me like a father. My colleagues are so kind to me. They make me feel happy when I go to work. On my first day at work, I felt stress, shy and I did not know what to say anything, but my colleagues told me not to be afraid, everything was easy, they would help me. I felt better and continue my job. Every day, I operate a small computerized sewing machine, and sew a part of the shoes and need to achieve the goal setting. My work is ok, but I think I will change my job in the future because I usually go home very late and I do not have time to do anything I want.
I’m a worker. I
work
for a leather shoe
company
. It’s about 3. 5 km from my
house
,
so
I go to
work
by electric bike.

From Monday to Saturday, I go out at 7 a. m for
work
and
get
home at 7. 30 p. m or 8 p. m.
Sometimes
, I
have to
work
all week. I’m busy
but
I am
used
to it. I can go to
work
every day and earn money. It’s great. I’m lucky
because
I have a
good
leader. He never scolds me and teaches me like a father. My colleagues are
so
kind to me. They
make
me feel happy when I go to
work
. On my
first
day at
work
, I felt
stress
, shy and I did not know what to say anything,
but
my colleagues
told
me not to be afraid, everything was easy, they would
help
me. I felt better and continue my job. Every day, I operate a
small
computerized sewing machine, and sew a part of the shoes and need to achieve the goal setting. My
work
is ok,
but
I
think
I will
change
my job in the future
because
I
usually
go home
very
late and I do not have time to do anything I want.
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IELTS essay describe the job in the future

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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