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Nowadays, young people prefer going to shopping centers rather than spending their time in organized activities such as sports or music. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons to support your opinion using your knowledge and experience.

Nowadays, young people prefer going to shopping centers rather than spending their time in organized activities such as sports or music. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons to support your opinion using your knowledge and experience. MoQRe
During in modern era, the youngsters in this generation should prefer to spend most of their time in malls and shopping centers instead of focus on sports and music. I think it creates a huge negative impact on them as well as on society too. Firstly, During the period of young age, people must focus on their mental or physical health, but in contrast nowadays a lot of time wasted by teenagers in shopping malls, because of that they are not as active in sports and other learning activities like music, drawing dancing and many more. Sports and music are a source of boost energy as well as motivation and physical awareness removes disabilities. For example, yoga, sports, and some physical activity help much to remove many illnesses like headaches, back pain, loss of weight, muscle pain. as per the example, sports is very important for every person intern of physical fitness. On the other hand, the Tendency to shopping with youngsters affects negatively society. Because if they prefer to shop every day or a week so they need money as a result to fulfill their need of money they avoid study and star working full-time work. it has an inverse effect on their career. Moreover, many times teenagers choose the wrong path for their satisfaction with money also try to damage themself as well as the community. For example, to fulfill the need for money they have involved in robbery, kidnapping, and murder. This illegal work has spoiled their future also people of society face awfull experience. In conclusion, I believe that shopping is not harmful every time it affects negatively when people only focus on this or avoid other things like sports and music. Sometimes spend extrem time in this is becoming a reason for destroyed oneself as well as the person becoming harmful to society.
During in modern era, the youngsters in this generation should prefer to spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in malls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers
instead
of focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. I
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think
it creates a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on them as
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well
as on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
too.
Firstly
, During the period of young age,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on their mental or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in contrast
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wasted by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that they are not as active in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and other learning activities like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, drawing dancing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are a source of boost energy as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as motivation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
awareness removes disabilities.
For example
, yoga,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
much to remove
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
illnesses like headaches, back pain, loss of weight, muscle pain.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
per the example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every person intern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness.
On the other hand
, the Tendency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
with youngsters affects
negatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if they prefer to shop every day or a week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a result
to fulfill their need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they avoid study and star working full-time work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
has an inverse effect on their career.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
choose the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path for their satisfaction with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
also
try to damage
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the community.
For example
, to fulfill the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they have involved in robbery, kidnapping, and murder. This illegal work has spoiled their future
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
face
Possible spelling mistake found.
awfull
experience.
In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is not harmful every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it affects
negatively
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on this or avoid other things like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
extrem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in this is becoming a reason for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
oneself as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the person becoming harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, young people prefer going to shopping centers rather than spending their time in organized activities such as sports or music. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons to support your opinion using your knowledge and experience.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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