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Nowadays young people move from rural areas to cities. Why is it happening? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays young people move from rural areas to cities. Why is it happening? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? jNJp
Certain cities in the countries thrive much more than rural areas and day-by-day cities' populations escalate. There are precise reasons for that, and its adverse effects surpass its beneficial sides. People who leave the countryside have certain reasons to settle in cities. The first and gravest reason is that there is scarcity in terms of workplaces and educational institutions in the far-flung areas whereas cities are rich in job opportunities and universities, so adolescents come to the cities to get an education and individuals who want to start their career settle in the rural regions. Moreover, because of the reason that cities are more developed rather than villages or suburbs, youngsters tend to start a life in the central cities where contain lots of entertainment centers, malls, museums. Supporters of the moving to cities indicate positive sides such as an increment in the living standards. Governments pay more attention to maintain and boost conditions in the cities to make life easy and convenient for citizens. Additionally, the opportunity and facilities in cities are much wider and this helps people to get an adequate education and be professional. For instance, if one talented person stays in the village and does not pursue education, it is not just unpleasant for him, but also for the country because, otherwise, well-educated people in the country would be less. Turning to the other side of the argument, starting to dwell in cities leads to overpopulation problem. As the city's population grows, so does the need for infrastructure, buildings. Furthermore, escalation of city dwellers causes traffic congestions in the roads. The growth of car use decreases the quality of life in urban areas. Finally, if everyone moves to the cities, the rural areas will always remain underdeveloped which is not welcome for entire country’s economy. Overall, chances to acquire education and job, as well as exciting city lifestyle are major causes to live in urban. Backwards of movement to the towns such as population density in cities, heavy traffic and ignored countryside exceed its advantages such as developing standard of living and educated professionals.
Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
thrive much more than rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and day-by-day cities' populations escalate. There are precise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for that, and its adverse effects surpass its beneficial sides.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the countryside have certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to settle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The
first
and gravest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that there is scarcity in terms of workplaces and educational institutions in the far-flung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are rich in job opportunities and universities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
adolescents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and individuals who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career settle in the rural regions.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are more developed
rather
than villages or suburbs, youngsters tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a life in the central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where contain lots of entertainment centers, malls, museums.

Supporters of the moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
indicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides such as an increment in the living standards.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
pay more attention to maintain and boost conditions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easy and convenient for citizens.
Additionally
, the opportunity and facilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are much wider and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and be professional.
For instance
, if one talented person stays in the village and does not pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
unpleasant for him,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
otherwise
, well-educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would be less.

Turning to the other side of the argument, starting to dwell in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
leads to overpopulation problem. As the city's population grows,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
does the need for infrastructure, buildings.
Furthermore
, escalation of city dwellers causes traffic congestions in the roads. The growth of car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
decreases the quality of life in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Finally
, if everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will always remain underdeveloped which is not welcome for entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy.

Overall
, chances to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and job,
as well
as exciting city lifestyle are major causes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in urban. Backwards of movement to the towns such as population density in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, heavy traffic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
countryside exceed its advantages such as developing standard of living and educated professionals.

IELTS essay Nowadays young people move from rural areas to cities. Why is it happening? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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