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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. 27m6
The idea of a wealthy and glamorous lifestyle is so attractive for most people, especially youngsters. Nowadays, being in the spotlight exhibiting luxurious possessions and fortune have become more important than professional and personal achievements, due to which, some people think that this could set a negative effect on young generations. It is essential to make people famous by their outstanding accomplishments rather than by their luxurious lifestyles in order to set a better example for such individuals. Influencers and celebrities portray a fake idea of perfect lifestyles, which has the power to change young people’s values and behaviour. This is because, they want to have the looks of popular influencers, such as Kylie Jenner or Kim Kardashian, due to which, they will have a frustrating idea of body perfection. Subsequently, most of them will try to follow their behaviour, for example, eating exactly what they have for lunch every day, which will affect their self-esteem and body image. Consequently, most youngsters will suffer from eating disorders, such as anorexia, due to the constant fake body types portrayed on social media. Thus, social media and TV celebrities have a huge impact on young individual’s behaviour. Some TV shows reflect controversial and toxic relationships as acceptable, which influence young viewer’s attitudes. Most importantly, most TV shows portray a lot of drama on young couples or even on fraternal relationships, for example on reality shows such as Big Brother, which distorts viewer’s perception of reality. As a result, most young people will misbehave towards their parents and friends, because they will think what they see on TV is correct. Due to this, they will develop aggressive behaviours and will create a lot of drama out of simple situations. Therefore, the reality reflected on TV will definitely affect them. In conclusion, it is evident that celebrities that reflect fame and fortune instead of their personal and professional accomplishments will have a negative impact on young people’s behaviour, values and attitudes. If influencers were more focused on exhibiting their achievements on social media and TV, they would be a better example for future generations.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of a wealthy and glamorous lifestyle is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
attractive for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
youngsters. Nowadays, being in the spotlight exhibiting luxurious possessions and fortune have become more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than professional and personal achievements,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this could set a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations. It is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
by their outstanding accomplishments
rather
than by their luxurious lifestyles in order to set a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
for such individuals.

Influencers and celebrities portray a fake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of perfect lifestyles, which has the power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
values and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they want to have the looks of popular influencers, such as Kylie Jenner or Kim Kardashian,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which, they will have a frustrating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of body perfection.
Subsequently
, most of them will try to follow their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, eating exactly what they have for lunch every day, which will affect their self-esteem and body image.
Consequently
, most youngsters will suffer from eating disorders, such as anorexia,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the constant fake body types portrayed on social media.
Thus
, social media and TV celebrities have a huge impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individual’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
reflect controversial and toxic relationships as acceptable, which influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
viewer’s attitudes. Most
importantly
, most TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
portray
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
drama on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
couples or even on fraternal relationships, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
on reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
Brother, which distorts viewer’s perception of reality.
As a result
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will misbehave towards their parents and friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on TV is correct.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this, they will develop aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and will create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
drama out of simple situations.
Therefore
, the reality reflected on TV will definitely affect them.

In conclusion
, it is evident that celebrities that reflect fame and fortune
instead
of their personal and professional accomplishments will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, values and attitudes. If influencers were more focused on exhibiting their achievements on social media and TV, they would be a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
for future generations.
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IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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