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NOWADAYS, YOUNG PEOPLE ADMIRE SPORTS STARS THOUGH THEY OFTEN DO NOT SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

NOWADAYS, YOUNG PEOPLE ADMIRE SPORTS STARS THOUGH THEY OFTEN DO NOT SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT? aQgdw
With the rising popularity of celebrities in areas like sports, younger generations tend to have an admiration to these specific people. However, not all of these famous individuals are good examples for the young. From my perspective, I partially oppose that most sport stars are negatively impacting the mindset of younger people these days. On the one hand, most sport celebrities are promoting the lifestyle that not everyone can afford. Famous and rich people usually appears in mansions with expensive cars like an indication of wealth and fame. This, however, is becoming seriously concerning to the younger generation who are easily influenced by the evils, especially the misleading appearance of these rising stars. For example, many sport stars on Instagram have been sharing their prosperous lifestyle to their audiences, most of which are still unable to consciously perceive what they see on the internet. On the other hand, sport industry celebrities are actively making positive impacts to the society. Well-known people are perceived by the masses with the impression of success, which purposely serve as an inspiration to younger people who are willing to pursue the sport career. Therefore, with these people inspiring the public, many potential players have the chance to shine and become noticed by the media. For instance, Jack Johnson, a boxing world champion in the early 1900s, inspired numerous black people to pursue their dream of becoming the world champion, including former world champion Mike Tyson. In conclusion, it is untrue to state that sport celebrities are negatively changing the way the young thinks. With that said, not all these people are best examples for everyone since not all celebrities are the same. From my point of view, I’m not totally disagree that sport stars are all bad influencers to their audiences.
With the rising popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in areas like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generations tend to have an admiration to these specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, not all of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
individuals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
examples for the young. From my perspective, I
partially
oppose that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
are
negatively
impacting the mindset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days.

On the one hand, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are promoting the lifestyle that not everyone can afford.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
appears in mansions with expensive cars like an indication of wealth and fame. This,
however
, is becoming
seriously
concerning to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation who are
easily
influenced by the evils,
especially
the misleading appearance of these rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
on Instagram have been sharing their prosperous lifestyle to their audiences, most of which are
still
unable to
consciously
perceive what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on the internet.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
actively
making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts to the society. Well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are perceived
by the masses with the impression of success, which
purposely
serve as an inspiration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are willing to pursue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
career.
Therefore
, with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inspiring the public,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
potential players have the chance to shine and become noticed by the media.
For instance
, Jack Johnson, a boxing world champion in the early 1900s, inspired numerous black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pursue their dream of becoming the world champion, including former world champion Mike Tyson.

In conclusion
, it is untrue to state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
negatively
changing the way the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
. With that said, not all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are best examples for everyone since not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are the same. From my point of view, I’m not
totally
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
are all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influencers to their audiences.
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IELTS essay NOWADAYS, YOUNG PEOPLE ADMIRE SPORTS STARS THOUGH THEY OFTEN DO NOT SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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