Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays workplace has an impartial role in the development of personality. Some people think that job satisfaction can be brought by a high salary. Others think that there are many other factors which contribute to job satisfaction. Explain your point of view

Nowadays workplace has an impartial role in the development of personality. Some people think that job satisfaction can be brought by a high salary. Others think that there are many other factors which contribute to job satisfaction. Explain your point of view 53nNP
The role of workplace is currently urgent for individuals burgeon. Some of the people believe that job fulfillment could be appeared by a lucrative salary. While other people consider that other entities can result in having job satisfaction. I personally believe that job fulfillment can be brought by positive working atmosphere as well as the salary in the high degree. Workplace can affect the development of people in their work. A good workplace should provide with state-of-the-art technologies and resources to have quality work. Without any conveniences, employees are not able to work effectively. From my point of view, every amenity in workplace should be constructed in the thought of employees' benefits. For example, some offices are built uncomfortably and these sick building syndrome causes the poor health of employees. This brings me to the second point. In workplace, rewarding rapport among colleagues can bring a sense of job satisfaction. Colleagues are considered the family members of one employee in workplace. So as to build up a good working condition, bosses and supervisors should help and they can also get on well with their employees. On the other hand, some people' view is that to own a feeling of job satisfaction, a high salary is a leading role. Although some employees have a great working relationship, they want to get a high salary, promotion and extra benefit fpr their employment. With a high salary, they accomodate with financial profit. Regular promotion shifting stimulates a future goal of employees. For instance, some employees in the McDonald company have been provided with benefits such as free dinner and company car. To sum up, each employee want to have complete job fulfillment by paying a lucrative salary, supportive staff and understanding boss.
The role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
is
currently
urgent for individuals burgeon.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
fulfillment could
be appeared
by a lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that other entities can result in having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
fulfillment can
be brought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
working atmosphere
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
degree.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Workplace
can affect the development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their work. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
should provide with state-of-the-art technologies and resources to have quality work. Without any conveniences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are not able to work
effectively
. From my point of view, every amenity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
should
be constructed
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of employees' benefits.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offices
are built
uncomfortably
and these sick building syndrome causes the poor health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. This brings me to the second point. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
, rewarding rapport among colleagues can bring a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. Colleagues
are considered
the family members of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
.
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
So as to
build up a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
working condition, bosses and supervisors should
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
help and
they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on well with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
' view is that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a feeling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is a leading role. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have a great working relationship, they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, promotion and extra benefit
Possible spelling mistake found.
fpr
their employment. With a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodate
with financial profit. Regular promotion shifting stimulates a future goal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in the McDonald
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
have
been provided
with benefits such as free dinner and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
car. To sum up, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
want to have complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
fulfillment by paying a lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, supportive staff and understanding boss.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays workplace has an impartial role in the development of personality. Some people think that job satisfaction can be brought by a high salary. Others think that there are many other factors which contribute to job satisfaction. Explain your point of view

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts