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mobile phones and the internet could have many benefits for old people

mobile phones and the internet could have many benefits for old people 0nb99
Mobile telephones and the internet could have numerous advantages for elderly people. But this age person uses technology less. There are various methods to uplift the senior citizens to use the latest technology. First of all, mobile phones are essential for old people because they can easily communicate with their children and in case of emergency. However, this will engage with the trend of the new generation. Secondly, the internet provides them with entertainment via youtube. People have a chance to listen to old songs and movies.
Mobile telephones and the internet could have numerous advantages for elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this age person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
technology less. There are various methods to uplift the senior citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the latest technology.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, mobile phones are essential for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
easily
communicate with their children and in case of emergency.
However
, this will engage with the trend of the new generation.
Secondly
, the internet provides them with entertainment via
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have a chance to listen to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
songs and movies.
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IELTS essay mobile phones and the internet could have many benefits for old people

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
87 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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