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Nowadays we live in very complex modern life. So, we have to do many and different task to fill our days in fruitful tasks. While, others prefer doing one task in all their day long. And in my point of view doing many tasks is very important to live more v.2

Nowadays we live in very complex modern life. So, we have to do many and different task to fill our days in fruitful tasks. While, others prefer doing one task in all their day long. And in my point of view doing many tasks is very important to live more v. 2
Nowadays we live in very complex modern life. So, we have to do many and different task to fill our days in fruitful tasks. While, others prefer doing one task in all their day long. And in my point of view doing many tasks is very important to live more comfortable and satisfied life. And the impact of my view will analyzed in this essay for further explain. First of all, we should learn doing many tasks in our days for different reasons. firstly, it is very helpful to do many things in the same day, because we can arrange our time in a helpful manner, Also, we can feel more enjoyable with different task. For example, i spent my day all the time between surfing internet to get the maximum benefit in my studying, and talking with my friends to change my mod and decrease my stress level. Moreover, doing my homework and study will for getting high marks as usual. So, this arrangement makes me more relax because i fill my time by useful tasks. Secondly, doing one task or one type of job creates sort of boring and sens of unproductivity feeling that lead to many problems. For example, a type of official job like the employee that sit a long time from 8 am until 3 pm and return back to his home for further sitting in front his television or surfing internet all this time will lead to many physical, social, and psychological problems. such as, hypertension, high blood sugar, obesity, social exclusion, social isolation. Moreover psychological problems for instance, depression and isolation. In conclusion, for all of these reasons i think my point of view is strong and solid enough to clarify the importance of doing many and different tasks on our life, health, and ages.
Nowadays we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complex modern life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
to fill our days in fruitful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, others prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
in all their day long. And in my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more comfortable and satisfied life. And the impact of my view will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "analyze"
analyzed
in this essay for
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we should learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to do".
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
in our days for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
reasons.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in the same day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can arrange our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Consider replacing "in a helpful manner" with the adverb for "helpful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a helpful manner
,
Also
, we can feel more enjoyable with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
.
For example
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
spent my day all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between surfing internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the maximum benefit in my studying, and talking with my friends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my mod and decrease my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
my homework and study will for getting high marks as usual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this arrangement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me more relax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
fill my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by useful tasks.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
or one type of job creates sort of boring and sens of
Possible spelling mistake found.
unproductivity
feeling that lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
For example
, a type of official job like the employee that sit a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from 8 am until 3 pm and
Consider using "return".
return back
to his home for
further
sitting in front his television or surfing internet all this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physical, social, and psychological problems.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
as, hypertension, high blood sugar, obesity, social exclusion, social isolation.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
psychological problems
for instance
, depression and isolation.

In conclusion
, for all of these reasons
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
my point of view is strong and solid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to clarify the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
on our life, health, and ages.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays we live in very complex modern life. So, we have to do many and different task to fill our days in fruitful tasks. While, others prefer doing one task in all their day long. And in my point of view doing many tasks is very important to live more v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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