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Nowadays we communicate less with our family members. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Nowadays we communicate less with our family members. with this statement? v. 1
As electronic devices play an increasingly more central role in our lives, it has been suggested that there has been an unprecedented decline in interpersonal connection not only with colleagues, business associates and close friends, but also with our immediate family. I completely agree with this assertion and, moreover, this is a worrying trend that looks set to continue. Even though face-to-face interactions are possibly at their lowest level ever, it would be foolish not to recognize the valuable role that advanced technology plays. Thanks to it, we can instantly get in touch with any individual or organization, at the touch of a button, regardless of time zone or location. For example, we can follow what our friends have been doing, though social media platforms such as Facebook or Instagram, therefore, the rise in transmission via such methods cannot be underestimated. Nevertheless, this reduced contact with our own family is a disturbing byproduct of electronic intelligence, and could be attributed to the change in lifestyles, for the current generation. For instance, the previous generation worked in nine-to-five jobs, and went home every day to eat and chat about their day with their families. The millennials, in stark contrast, are frequently employed as digital nomads, working irregular hours, and this lack of routine results in a different way of life for our ancestors. In conclusion, despite delivery being at its highest level, in terms of quantity, the quality of this contact is debatable. Social media updates should not replace personal contact with close family members and interactions should be encouraged by senior family members, by setting a good example for children, such as not using gadgets at the dinner table and instead trying to engage with their offspring in more meaningful ways.
As electronic devices play an
increasingly
more central role in our
lives
, it has
been suggested
that there has been an unprecedented decline in interpersonal connection not
only
with colleagues, business associates and close friends,
but
also
with our immediate
family
. I completely
agree
with this assertion and,
moreover
, this is a worrying trend that looks set to continue.

Even though
face-to-face interactions are
possibly
at their lowest level ever, it would be foolish not to recognize the valuable role that advanced technology plays. Thanks to it, we can
instantly
get
in touch with any individual or organization, at the touch of a button, regardless of time zone or location.
For example
, we can follow what our friends have been doing, though social media platforms such as Facebook or Instagram,
therefore
, the rise in transmission via such methods cannot
be underestimated
.

Nevertheless
, this
reduced
contact with our
own
family
is a disturbing byproduct of electronic intelligence, and could
be attributed
to the
change
in lifestyles, for the
current
generation.
For instance
, the previous generation worked in nine-to-five jobs, and went home every day to eat and chat about their day with their
families
. The millennials, in stark contrast, are
frequently
employed as digital nomads, working irregular hours, and this lack of routine results in a
different
way of life for our ancestors.

In conclusion
, despite delivery being at its highest level, in terms of quantity, the quality of this contact is debatable. Social media updates should not replace personal contact with close
family
members and interactions should
be encouraged
by senior
family
members, by setting a
good
example for children, such as not using gadgets at the dinner table and
instead
trying to engage with their offspring in more meaningful ways.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays we communicate less with our family members. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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