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Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performances from the screen (laptop, etc) and no need to watch it live. To what extend do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performances from the screen (laptop, etc) and no need to watch it live. 0K8q
These days, the requirement of quarantine resulted from a pandemic of COVID-19 has led to more and more consumption of entertainment like concerts from devices such as laptop and smartphones. It therefore is considered by some individuals that there is no necessity to watch these performances in person. Although I agree with this opinion up to a point, the vibrant atmosphere of live performances should be taken into account. One of the main reasons why it is nor essential to watch entertainment live is that people can watch the same quality of performance on demand. That is to say, place and time audience watch are adjustable to wherever and whenever they want. When first quarantine started in the US last year, numerous DJs streamed their performance on YouTube, which enabled their fans to enjoy the concerts at their comfort zones without exposing themselves to the virus or considering time zone differences. If there had been no on-demand services, it could not have happened. What is more, the quality of performances can be delivered equally to everyone. Watching through screens means all the audience can have the same clear views, whereas the audience watching performances live from the back seats at halls barely get to see the artists, which is unfair. It seems that going to live performance for the sake of watching worse scenery can lead to no necessity of live performance. Despite those benefits, I cannot totally agree with the opinion that performance in person is not essential due to the exciting mood at the place where entertainment is held. In other words, people at concerts enjoy not only the performance but also existing there and bonding with other audience. This content would not be fulfilled by online performances and people cannot be ignorant about the fact. All things considered, consuming performance online is getting indispensable for our lives and some people may think concerts in person is negligible in order to the flexibility of choosing locations and schedule and confirmed superior view. However, the vibrant atmosphere of live performance is of great significance. Personally, watching performance live doubles my satisfaction.
These days, the requirement of quarantine resulted from a pandemic of COVID-19 has led to more and more consumption of entertainment like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
from devices such as laptop and smartphones. It
therefore
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that there is no necessity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
in person. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion up to a point, the vibrant atmosphere of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
should
be taken
into account.

One of the main reasons why it is nor essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the same quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
on demand.
That is
to say, place and time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
are adjustable to wherever and whenever they want. When
first
quarantine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in the US last year, numerous DJs streamed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
on YouTube, which enabled their fans to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
at their comfort zones without exposing themselves to the virus or considering time zone differences. If there had been no on-demand services, it could not have happened.

What is more
, the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
can
be delivered
equally
to everyone. Watching through screens means all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
can have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
views, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
from the back seats at halls
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the artists, which is unfair. It seems that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
for the sake of watching worse scenery can lead to no necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
performance.

Despite those benefits, I cannot
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
in person is not essential due to the exciting mood at the place where entertainment
is held
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
enjoy not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
existing there and bonding with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
. This content would not
be fulfilled
by online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot be ignorant about the fact.

All things considered, consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
online is getting indispensable for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
in person is negligible in order to the flexibility of choosing locations and schedule and confirmed superior view.
However
, the vibrant atmosphere of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
is of great significance.
Personally
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
doubles my satisfaction.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performances from the screen (laptop, etc) and no need to watch it live.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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