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An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games .Some people say this is a negative development.

An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. WN7N
The world is getting digitalized day by day and use of digital things whether it's smartphone, laptop or in simply AI are poised to grow further. The use of computers have taken a growth among the youngsters these days. I somewhat agree with the statement alongwith that I will discuss both the sides. Firstly, the computers, laptops, PS system all these things have a crucial place in different age groups. For example a school student and college student for homework, classes, professional person for office interviews, meetings etc all need these smart products. Although there was no any use of these stuff in earlier days but with the development in all over the world has led to bank on true quality. However, few persons convey that these things have a wrong influence on everyone, it is not without reason as the time when the child used to play in playground that same time now he/she spend on playing games, watching movies, youtube. Professionals who used to give their time to colleagues, talk face to face to clients and many more but now all this has decreased due to getting of everything digital. This has result in being a couch potato for some people.
The world is getting digitalized day by day and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of digital things whether it's smartphone, laptop or in
simply
AI
are poised
to grow
further
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers
Did you mean "has"?
have
taken a growth among the youngsters these days. I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
Possible spelling mistake found.
alongwith
that I will discuss both the sides.
Firstly
, the computers, laptops, PS system all these things have a crucial place in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups.
For example
a school student and college student for homework, classes, professional person for office interviews, meetings etc all need these smart products. Although there was
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these stuff in earlier days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the development in all over the world has led to bank on true quality.
However
, few persons convey that these things have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
influence on everyone, it is not without reason as the time when the child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play in playground that same time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he/she spend on playing games, watching movies,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
. Professionals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to give their time to colleagues, talk
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "face to".
face to face to
clients and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
all this has decreased due to getting of everything digital. This has result in being a couch potato for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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