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In many countries weddings are getting big and expensive today as they were in past Why do you think this is the case Is it a negative or positive development v.2

In many countries weddings are getting big and expensive today as they were in past Why do you think this is the case Is it a negative or positive development v. 2
Getting married, perhaps is the most important moment in one’s life therefore people spend more and more money to make it memorable. However, there is a growing trend recently, of making matrimonial ceremonies big and costly, round the globe. I think this growing trend has negative impact on our society. In the first place, people often consider expensive marriages as status symbol and spend huge amount of money by inviting unnecessary guests along-with buying expensive clothes and jewelry. For instance, those who want to show their community that they are very well connected socially, would consider this as an important opportunity and would invite as many political figures as they can. Hence it is quite obvious that those who are of the view that marriage ceremony are a status symbol, would invite more guests and spend more. In addition to that, there are some people who are of the view that marriage is the most important occasion of their life and would like to have particular theme to make it memorable and would like everyone to share this moment with them, who is dear to them. In order to do that, they spend large amount of money on unnecessary things. In my own wedding, me and my wife wanted to have white color as theme and spent more money on our marriage than usual. So I am guilty of wasting handsome amount of money for no particular reason. However, this growing trend has a huge negative implication on our society by encouraging less deprived people to spend money on their marriages beyond their financial means. Poor people are often seen, lending money for their matrimonial ceremonies and found themselves in deep trouble of financial crisis, soon after starting a new chapter of their life. To recapitulate, keeping in view the aforementioned arguments, we can conclude that people often spend large sums on huge marriage ceremonies as status symbol, leaving a negative impact on society and leading poor people to spend more money on their marriages, leaving them in debts.
Getting married, perhaps is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
moment in one’s life
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it memorable.
However
, there is a growing trend recently, of making matrimonial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and costly, round the globe. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this growing trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our society.

In the
first
place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
consider expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
as status symbol and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by inviting unnecessary guests along-with buying expensive clothes and jewelry.
For instance
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their community that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well connected
socially
, would consider this as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
opportunity and would invite as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
political figures as they can.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is quite obvious that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
are a status symbol, would invite more guests and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more.

In addition
to that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
occasion of their life and would like to have particular theme to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it memorable and would like everyone to share this moment with them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is dear to them. In order to do that, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on unnecessary things.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wedding, me and my wife wanted to have white color as theme and spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
than usual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I am guilty of wasting handsome amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for no particular reason.

However
, this growing trend has a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implication on our society by encouraging less deprived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
beyond their financial means. Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, lending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their matrimonial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
and found themselves in deep trouble of financial crisis,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after starting a new chapter of their life.

To recapitulate, keeping in view the aforementioned arguments, we can conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
large sums on huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
as status symbol, leaving a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on society and leading poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
, leaving them in debts.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries weddings are getting big and expensive today as they were in past Why do you think this is the case Is it a negative or positive development v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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