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Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In whats has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.6

Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In whats has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 6
There is no doubt that technology is making everyone's life easier. How individuals connect with each other is changed completely because of technological advancements. This essay will discuss how this has impacted our social life, and its advantages and disadvantages. Firstly, people are preferring online connections more than physically meeting them. This is because we have a plethora of social networks nowadays. Although they are increasing the number of friends we have, but the quality and bonding are decreasing. For example, people meet strangers on Facebook, they start chatting before even knowing each other. In most cases, people do not even know if the profile on the other side is real or fake. This is certainly a negative development. The relationships these days are much more artificial. In the past, even if a person had a few friends, they all closely knew each other. The relationships were much stronger compared to today. In addition, there is a social pressure to follow the trend. If most individuals in a group are on a particular mobile application, all the others tend to follow them because they feel threatened to be kicked out of the group. Secondly, adults are finding their life partner online. This is because, they are so busy these days, and getting to know anybody is time consuming. They do not want to waste time building relationships. For instance, matchmaking websites ask you your interests and match you with the right person with the same interests. This has a lot of drawbacks. You do not know the person long enough to trust them, let alone marry. Choosing your life partner is a really difficult job. This requires a long time, and adults are doing the exact opposite because of technology. To conclude, there are way more negatives to building connections online rather than in person. The latest technology is making every relationship artificial, be it friends or partners.
There is no doubt that technology is making everyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier. How individuals connect with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technological advancements. This essay will discuss how this has impacted our social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and its advantages and disadvantages.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
online connections more than
physically
meeting them. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have a plethora of social networks nowadays. Although they are increasing the number of friends we have,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the quality and bonding are decreasing.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
strangers on Facebook, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
chatting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
even knowing each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
In most cases
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not even know if the profile on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side is real or fake. This is
certainly
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
these days are much more artificial. In the past, even if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
had a few friends, they all
closely
knew each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
were much stronger compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
In addition
, there is a social pressure to follow the trend. If most individuals in a group are on a particular mobile application, all the others tend to follow them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel threatened to
be kicked
out of the group.

Secondly
, adults are finding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
partner online. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy these days, and getting to know anybody is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
. They do not want to waste time building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
.
For instance
, matchmaking websites ask you your interests and match you with the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with the same interests. This has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
drawbacks. You do not know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to trust them,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone marry. Choosing your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
partner is a
really
difficult job. This requires a long time, and adults are doing the exact opposite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technology.

To conclude
, there are way more negatives to building connections online
rather
than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. The latest technology is making every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
artificial, be it friends or partners.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In whats has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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