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Nowadays, the way many people interact with each-other has changed because of technology.In what way has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each-other has changed because of technology. In what way has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this been a positive or negative development? yJYP
Today, the use of technology is so deeply rooted in every individual’s life that, it has changed the essence of a relationship and the communication between people. In my opinion, technology has a positive impact on the way relationships develop in recent times. Technology has been of paramount importance in each and every perosn’s life. Myriad of people can now connect with their loved one’s residing in foreign countries through their cell phones. Hence, the old days have changed where people used to wait for letters or telegrams to know about their loved one’s. Moreover, social networking sites have provided a huge platform to young talent. For instance, there are numerous international groups for various art form where, there are participants from all across the globe. Therefore, technology has not only brought people closer but has also been an integral part in providing international talent. On the one hand, technology has made loved one’s more formal towards each other. For instance, earlier family used to celebrate festivals together and share blessings. Things have not been the same as individuals, wish each other through a simple message or a video call. Therefore, celebration is just a formality as the affection in family has faded away after the advent of technology. On the other hand, there are more points in my stance. Firstly, technology is preponderant to ensure that multinational companies are ahead of the competition. Every minute is crucial in such companies and any delay in decision means a huge loss. To my knowledge, share market is the best example to explain the importance of technology. A second delay in the internet speed can change the fortune of a company. Secondly, technology has rooted in rural areas where school and libraries takes years to reach. For example, my friend runs an social service where she sponsors computers and internet to the underprivileged and helps them educate. In a nutshell, the use of technology is so widespread that it is imperative in every individual’s life and for the development of the society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
deeply
rooted in every individual’s life that, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the essence of a relationship and the communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the way relationships develop in recent times.

Technology has been of paramount importance in each and every
Possible spelling mistake found.
perosn
’s life. Myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
connect with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one’s residing in foreign countries through their cell phones.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wait for letters or telegrams to know about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one’s.
Moreover
, social networking sites have provided a huge platform to young talent.
For instance
, there are numerous international groups for various art form where, there are participants from all across the globe.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has
also
been an integral part in providing international talent.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one’s more formal towards each other.
For instance
, earlier family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to celebrate festivals together and share blessings. Things have not been the same as individuals, wish each other through a simple message or a video call.
Therefore
, celebration is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a formality as the affection in family has faded away after the advent of technology.

On the other hand
, there are more points in my stance.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is preponderant to ensure that multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are ahead of the competition. Every minute is crucial in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and any delay in decision means a huge loss. To my knowledge, share market is the best example to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. A second delay in the internet speed can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the fortune of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has rooted in rural areas where school and libraries takes years to reach.
For example
, my friend runs
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
social service where she sponsors computers and internet to the underprivileged and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them educate.

In a nutshell, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
widespread that it is imperative in every individual’s life and for the development of the society.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, the way many people interact with each-other has changed because of technology. In what way has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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