Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that a sense of competition in the children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that a sense of competition in the children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion 0qK3
Nowadays, in every country competition have increasing in every sector even when that is education sector, industrial or any other but number of people perception have that feeling to competition should be inclined whereas other things that cooperation brought vital change in the life of student beside competition. In first paragraph, we will discuss the sense of competition in pupils. When we talk about education sector, students have more sense of competition, they do hard work to overtake each others and their mind also become sharp by doing this. Second if parents encourage the children than any kids could not step forward from their children. Beside this, by the intention of compete each other many people grow up in their business and they put back to other businessman. On the other hand, some shortlisted people believe that cooperation give motivation to children so we should give more encourage to children for helping each other. Further, by the desire of friendliness children kept all their classmates equal to each other while by doing this children remains stand at same level. They could not be step forward. To sum up, cooperation and competition both are necessary to encourage a student but at same level competition have become vital whereas in some situation co-operation is good.
Nowadays, in every country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
have increasing in every sector even when
that is
education sector, industrial or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
perception have that feeling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
should
be inclined
whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
brought vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the life of student beside competition.

In
first
paragraph, we will discuss the sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in pupils. When we talk about education sector, students have more sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to overtake each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
and their mind
also
become sharp by doing this. Second if parents encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than any kids could not step forward from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Beside this, by the intention of compete each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
grow up in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
business and
they put back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
businessman. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
shortlisted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
give motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should give more encourage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for helping each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Further
, by the desire of friendliness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
all their classmates equal to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
while by doing
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
remains stand at same level. They could not be step forward. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
both are necessary to encourage a student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at same level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
have become vital whereas in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situation co-operation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in the children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that a sense of competition in the children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion