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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. v.50

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. v. 50
The 21st century has been a game-changer in all aspects of human life. The same case is with relationships which have also taken a new dimension with technological advancement. Nowadays, the relationships are much more fragile, materialistic, mistrust and doubtful as compared to the previous times. I reckon, that overall this development has been quite negative which will be analysed in our paragraphs to follow. To start with, nowadays technology has made relationships between humans quite suspicious. People are getting involved in relationships just on social networking websites without even knowing who is actually communicating with them. For instance, there have been many cases in which the person you are in contact with, is actually fake and fraud. He is just playing and making fool of you and you believe that you are making a friend or falling in love with him. Consequently, when you know the truth it is just like a bolt from the blue and your feeling is eradicated. This is evident from the argument above the reality of that technological relationship can be quite painful sometimes. Further, the new era connections between people can be quite fragile and weak as compared to the strength of relationships before the advent of technology. People without practically meeting each other and actually knowing their strength and weaknesses tend to trust each other too much and when they face the true facts the relationships are affected and in some cases broken down. For instance, a survey was conducted by Indian newspaper regarding the success of technology relationships and the result was reconciling with the point that relationships are very poor and the failure rate was quite high. To sum up, these technological relationships have altered the connectivity between two people. I firmly believe that drawbacks outweigh much more as compared to the fruits of these new relationships. However, It is recommended that people should be extremely careful and cautious in making any sought of relationships on social networking websites, chatting software etc.
The 21st century has been a game-changer in all aspects of human life. The same case is with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
which have
also
taken a new dimension with technological advancement. Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
are much more fragile, materialistic, mistrust and doubtful as compared to the previous times. I reckon, that
overall
this development has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
which will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
in our paragraphs to follow.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, nowadays technology has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
between humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
suspicious.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are getting involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on social networking websites without even knowing who is actually communicating with them.
For instance
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases in which the person you are in contact with, is actually fake and fraud. He is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
playing and making fool of you and you believe that you are making a friend or falling in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with him.
Consequently
, when you know the truth it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like a bolt from the blue and your feeling
is eradicated
. This is evident from the argument above the reality of that technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
painful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

Further
, the new era connections between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
fragile and weak as compared to the strength of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the advent of technology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
without
practically
meeting each other and actually knowing their strength and weaknesses tend to trust each other too much and when they face the true facts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases broken down.
For instance
, a survey
was conducted
by Indian newspaper regarding the success of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
and the result was reconciling with the point that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor and the failure rate was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
high.

To sum up, these technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
have altered the connectivity between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
firmly
believe that drawbacks outweigh much more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the fruits of these new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
.
However
, It
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
extremely
careful and cautious in making any sought of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
on social networking websites, chatting software etc.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. v. 50

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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