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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. v.47

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. v. 47
Everything has two sides, and the ‘effects of technology on people’s relationship’ is not an exception. We cannot deny how much technology transformed the individual reaction with others in his family and the surrounding community. In my opinion, technology has affected and transformed our life aspects and dealing with other people in a good way. Recently, we have different fast and cheap methods to call our family and friends. Moreover, some technologies are giving us chances to see and talk with them at the same time. In addition, we are informed on a daily basis with the last updates and news about our friends and family, so we can remember the birthdays, graduation parties and even marriage anniversary. Furthermore, these methods make it faster and easier to call and congratulate another individual. On the other hand, many people believe that technology is affecting individual relationship badly. They opine that, if we did not have these kinds of technology, we would have been visiting each other regularly. Not only that, but individuals will not be isolated from each other, especially those who are addicted to using social networking platforms.   As a matter of fact, people become talking to each other in a face-to-face method rarely. In particular, people’s personalities are changing so much, because of addiction in using Facebook. It’s one of the vital reasons to decrease confidence and self-esteem. As can be seen, even if we have some bad effects of technology and how it changed the way people contact each other, but we still have much more effects. We can obtain many easy and cheaper methods to contact each other. In fact, technology has enhanced our life and the way we are contacting each other.
Everything has two sides, and the ‘effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
relationship’ is not an exception. We cannot deny how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
transformed the individual reaction with others in his family and the surrounding community.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and transformed our life aspects and dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way. Recently, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
to call our family and friends.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are giving us chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and talk with them at the same time.
In addition
, we
are informed
on a daily basis with the last updates and news about our friends and family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can remember the birthdays, graduation parties and even
Wedding anniversaries are the proper term to describe the anniversary of the day of a wedding.
marriage
anniversary.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it faster and easier to call and congratulate another individual.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is affecting individual relationship
badly
. They opine that, if we did not have these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, we would have been visiting each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regularly
.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
individuals will not
be isolated
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
especially
those who
are addicted
to using social networking platforms.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become talking to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in a face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
The adverb 'rarely' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
rarely
.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
personalities are changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of addiction in using Facebook. It’s one of the vital reasons to decrease confidence and self-esteem.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, even if we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and how it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contact each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
still
have much more effects. We can obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
easy and cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
to contact each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has enhanced our life and the way we are contacting each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. v. 47

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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