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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than international music heard everywhere nowadays? v.9

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than international music heard everywhere nowadays? v. 9
A wide variety of musical sounds can indeed be found around the world. Music plays a more vital role in our life than just being a source of entertainment, and I would believe that folk music is more important than modern music. To embark on, there are multiple reasons why music is not only a source of amusement, but also an essential part of life. To begin with, it is scientifically proven that music stimulates parts of the brain and boosts both attention and memory. Particularly, studies have demonstrated that music enhances the memory of Alzheimer's and dementia patients. Besides, music is a powerful therapy that will be not only helpful in uplifting our mood but also have unique healing powers. As an example, if we feel lazy and motivated, maybe a playlist of up-tempo, energetic songs would be a nice way to change our emotions. In my opinion, traditional music should be valued over the international music that has become so popular. In view of international pop music, as it is often catchy and fun, it gains the popularity of the audiences, but it is just a commercial product that is marketed and sold by business people. The traditional one, on the contrary, expresses the culture, meaning, and history of a country that helps us remember and retain our national and cultural identity. The music has strong emotional ties that bring people together, as certain pieces are often played during national holidays or other events. Thus, traditional music, without any doubt, should be a priority to preserve due to its benefits. In conclusion, music has its value and is of vital importance in our life, and I believe that folk music should be given more significant than international pop music.
A wide variety of musical sounds can
indeed
be found
around the world.
Music
plays a more vital role in our life than
just
being a source of entertainment, and I would believe that folk
music
is more
important
than modern music.

To embark on, there are multiple reasons why
music
is not
only
a source of amusement,
but
also
an essential part of life. To
begin
with, it is
scientifically
proven that
music
stimulates parts of the brain and boosts both attention and memory.
Particularly
, studies have demonstrated that
music
enhances the memory of Alzheimer's and dementia patients.
Besides
,
music
is a powerful therapy that will be not
only
helpful in uplifting our mood
but
also
have unique healing powers. As an example, if we feel lazy and motivated, maybe a playlist of up-tempo, energetic songs would be a nice way to
change
our emotions.

In my opinion, traditional
music
should
be valued
over the international
music
that has become
so
popular. In view of international pop
music
, as it is
often
catchy and fun, it gains the popularity of the audiences,
but
it is
just
a commercial product that
is marketed
and sold by business
people
. The traditional one,
on the contrary
, expresses the culture, meaning, and history of a country that
helps
us remember and retain our national and cultural identity. The
music
has strong emotional ties that bring
people
together, as certain pieces are
often
played during national holidays or other
events
.
Thus
, traditional
music
, without any doubt, should be a priority to preserve due to its benefits.

In conclusion
,
music
has its value and is of vital importance in our life, and I believe that folk
music
should be
given
more significant than international pop
music
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than international music heard everywhere nowadays? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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