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Nowadays the people more interact with technology so they alone with family. What you think this is positive or negative change?

Nowadays the people more interact with technology so they alone with family. What you think this is positive or negative change? 0poD3
There have been too much different in past and present. In Norden generation people are technosavvy so pupils do not interact with other. day by day invention are more creative therefore, mankind immense use of their instruments like a mobiles, laptop, televisions etc. always one coin two side so all things have their own pros and cons. this essay shed light on merits and demerits of technology and their use. To begin with, the many advantages of technology but it's depends on how to use them. today's generation use more and more mobile phone and laptop hence they are always in busy for any kind of family work or social works. today new generation chat in Facebook, instagram, whatsapp and so on. they always believe stay connected with their friends and group hence they don't spend quality time with family members. After a long time, mankind feel alone with own family members. Sometimes invention learn too much for their better future but human being addicted with technology. For example, uk government state that the 10% human being committed suicides for their loneliness because they never support family members. To other side, in today's era most of people take benefits of technology for them personal works. people learn software and other things so pupils acquire the knowledge of latest invention as a result mending get high paid job in international companies. Nowadays every person use online shopping and online payment transfer method therefore human being life make easier than earlier. To show, Oxford university state that the in last 5 years digitization has drastically increased by immense use of Norden instruments. In final reckoning, i strongly advocate the second opinion of this essay because technology has not an issue but how to use technology is more important things. And if people use immense technology therefore they fell loneliness with their society.
There have been too much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in past and present. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
Norden
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
technosavvy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
pupils do not interact with other.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
day
by day invention are more creative
therefore
, mankind immense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their instruments like
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a mobile" or simply "mobiles"?
a mobiles
, laptop, televisions etc. always one coin two side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all things have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay shed light on merits and demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's depends on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
today
's generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more and more mobile phone and laptop
hence
they are always in busy for any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
work or social works.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
today
new generation chat
The usual collocation for "Facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on Facebook"?
in Facebook
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. they always believe stay connected with their friends and group
hence
they don't spend quality time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. After a long time, mankind feel alone with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
invention learn too much for their better future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
human
being addicted
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
state that the 10% human
being committed
suicides for their loneliness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they never support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. To other side, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for them personal works.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
learn software and other things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
pupils acquire the knowledge of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
invention
as a result
mending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high paid job in international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Nowadays every person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
online shopping and online payment transfer method
therefore
human being life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
easier than earlier. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, Oxford university state that the in last 5 years digitization has
drastically
increased by immense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Norden
instruments. In final reckoning,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
advocate the second opinion of this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has not an issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things. And if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
immense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
therefore
they fell loneliness with their society.
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IELTS essay Nowadays the people more interact with technology so they alone with family. What you think this is positive or negative change?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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