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Nowadays, the new generation likes shopping for leisure time. One of the main reasons is that advanced technology is commonplace and convenient. Another side is that life quality is much better than before and people have more income for consumption. In my opinion, it is a positive trend in the internet society.

Nowadays, the new generation likes shopping for leisure time. One of the main reasons is that advanced technology is commonplace and convenient. Another side is that life quality is much better than before and people have more income for consumption. In my opinion, it is a positive trend in the internet society. DoVKk
First of all, many new malls are being built in the different areas around every city, young people need not spend much time on the way to the mall. There are shops which offer various goods such as supermarkets, international clothing brands, milk tea shops and so on. In fact, shopping is not only buying things, but also has become a new way to socialize and deal with the stress of the young group. Also, the development of economy and businesses have brought about modern changes to shopping, which young people are very much familiar with, though the older generation are not. Secondly, with the quality of life increasing, young people now have the leeway to choose from much wider variety of products as well as methods of shopping. Therefore, a new mode for them which are browsing on shopping websites, they can compare similar products of different brands or style and do not worry that these will be sold off. Take China for example, most young adults have adequate experience of online shopping which involves spending time and money on it, producing a huge online profit per year, and driving the multiple related occupations within the generation of internet era. In brief, it is a good trend by now. In conclusion, Shopping online or offline has become a new form activity for modern people. It improves our life level. In the same time, it massively fueled the economic development in related countries.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
malls are
being built
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas around every city,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need not spend much time on the way to the mall. There are shops which offer various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
such as supermarkets, international clothing brands, milk tea shops and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
buying things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
way to socialize and deal with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
group.
Also
, the development of economy and businesses have brought about modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much familiar with, though the older generation are not.

Secondly
, with the quality of life increasing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have the leeway to choose from much wider variety of products
as well
as methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Therefore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
mode for them which are browsing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites, they can compare similar products of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands or style and do not worry that these will
be sold
off. Take China
for example
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults have adequate experience of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
which involves spending time and money on it, producing a huge online profit per year, and driving the multiple related occupations within the generation of internet era.
In brief
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trend by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
online or offline has become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
form activity for modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
our life level. In the same time, it
massively
fueled the economic development in related countries.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, the new generation likes shopping for leisure time. One of the main reasons is that advanced technology is commonplace and convenient. Another side is that life quality is much better than before and people have more income for consumption. In my opinion, it is a positive trend in the internet society.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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