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Nowadays, the misbehavior of adolescents seems to become an increasingly widespread problem. It is of significant to identify why they behave inappropriately and how to tackle this issue.

Nowadays, the misbehavior of adolescents seems to become an increasingly widespread problem. It is of significant to identify why they behave inappropriately and how to tackle this issue. Qj3L
Nowadays, the misbehavior of adolescents seems to become an increasingly widespread problem. It is of significant to identify why they behave inappropriately and how to tackle this issue. One possible explanation might be the neglecting of moral education. Especially in developing countries where population is large and competition is fierce, evaluating students by ranking their scores is much more easier than by observing their level of moral performance. As a result, a distorted notion that excellent student equates to excellent academic performance is widely accepted. Under that background, many students who do not respect others or show bad manner will normally be forgiven as long as the can gain high scores. In absence of in-time corrections when making mistakes, underage youths will be more likely to develop delinquent habits and behaviors. The unlimited resources online is another cause of this problem. Video and games embedded violent elements, having a misleading impact on children, can be easily accessed on the internet. The psychologically immature teenagers, who cannot distinguish between the artistic modification and real world, probably will mistake the violence as an appropriate solution to deal with the problems. Then they might mimic the violent plots when they encounter conflicts with others. Two measures can be taken to mitigate the above-mentioned problems. Schools should realize the importance of cultivating a healthy disposition of children. By involving moral performance into the evaluation criteria and establish moral classes, students might pay more attention to their behaviors. In addition, government should also put restrictions on the online resources to children. To make sure that videos with bloody scenes can be access by the minors, website operators should require identification card number in the process of register. If the website operators do not follow this rules, they will suffer penalties. In conclusion, the distortion of educational objective as well as the lack of control in violent videos lead to the delinquencies of students. Schools and government should take actions together to address this issue.
Nowadays, the misbehavior of adolescents seems to become an
increasingly
widespread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. It is of significant to identify why they behave
inappropriately
and how to tackle this issue.

One possible explanation might be the neglecting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
education.
Especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
where population is large and competition is fierce, evaluating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by ranking their scores is much
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
than by observing their level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
performance.
As a result
, a distorted notion that excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
equates to excellent academic performance is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
. Under that background,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do not respect others or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
manner will
normally
be forgiven
as long as the can gain high scores. In absence of in-time corrections when making mistakes, underage youths will be more likely to develop delinquent habits and behaviors.

The unlimited resources online is another cause of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Video and games embedded violent elements, having a misleading impact on children, can be
easily
accessed on the internet. The
psychologically
immature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, who cannot distinguish between the artistic modification and real world,
probably
will mistake the violence as an appropriate solution to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Then they might mimic the violent plots when they encounter conflicts with others.

Two measures can
be taken
to mitigate the above-mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Schools should realize the importance of cultivating a healthy disposition of children. By involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
performance into the evaluation criteria and establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
classes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might pay more attention to their behaviors.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
put restrictions on the online resources to children. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that videos with bloody scenes can be access by the minors, website operators should require identification card number in the process of register. If the website operators do not follow this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, they will suffer penalties.

In conclusion
, the distortion of educational objective
as well
as the lack of control in violent videos lead to the delinquencies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Schools and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take actions together to address this issue.

IELTS essay Nowadays, the misbehavior of adolescents seems to become an increasingly widespread problem. It is of significant to identify why they behave inappropriately and how to tackle this issue.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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