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nowadays the crime rate is increasing especially among teenagers. what are the reasons behind it and how can we reverse this trend. What punishment methods should be used in your opinion. v.2

nowadays the crime rate is increasing especially among teenagers. what are the reasons behind it and how can we reverse this trend. What punishment methods should be used in your opinion. v. 2
In this contemporary world, crime has increased among every age group and has become a huge issue for all. There is a huge increase in criminal activity among teenagers, which will have a terrible impact on the generations to come. I would like to gloss over the causes of this problem and suggest solutions in later paragraphs. To begin with, teenagers are encouraged by a plethora of reasons. First and foremost, there are some laws for people under 18 years of age. Additionally, the punishments for juveniles and seniors vary. Additionally, the punishments for juveniles and seniors vary. Additionally, the punishments for juveniles and seniors vary. For example, recent studies prove that this gap of generosity encouraged teenagers to commit crimes. Furthermore, the mentality of children is influenced by the company of bad people and there is a violation in films which leads to criminal acts in their mind. This is why teenagers in today's world spend more time watching entertainment of violence than focusing on their studies and careers. For example, teenagers with the wrong mindset do illegal things. On the flip side, there are enough of solutions that can help reduce these activities. Firstly, the government should implement new and strict rules and laws with uniformity in punishment for all age groups. Furthermore, ensuring that everyone is following these laws as laws is of no use if they are not properly followed by the people. For example, the latest research studies that follow the rules properly and carefully can reduce the number of violations. In addition, parents play an important role in children's lives. They should teach their children about the consequences of violent acts and motivate them to do good by giving them moral values. All this helps to increase the risk among the criminal and also helps in reducing the rate of wrongdoing, especially among teenagers. To conclude, I maintain that adolescents are very sensitive and can be easily influenced by wrong activities. Therefore, every parent should help their child develop clear and good thinking and explain the importance of laws. Also, the government should take action on things that can change the thinking of children in a wrong way.
In this contemporary world, crime has increased among every age group and has become a huge issue for all. There is a huge increase in criminal activity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
, which will have a terrible impact on the generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. I would like to gloss over the causes of this problem and suggest solutions in later paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are encouraged
by a plethora of reasons.
First
and foremost, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
under 18 years of age.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for juveniles and seniors vary.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for juveniles and seniors vary.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for juveniles and seniors vary.
For example
, recent studies prove that this gap of generosity encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to commit crimes.
Furthermore
, the mentality of children
is influenced
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and there is a violation in films which leads to criminal acts in their mind. This is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world spend more time watching entertainment of violence than focusing on their studies and careers.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
mindset do illegal things.

On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
of solutions that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
these activities.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement new and strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
with uniformity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for all age groups.
Furthermore
, ensuring that everyone is following these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
is of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
if they are not
properly
followed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, the latest research studies that follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
properly
and
carefully
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of violations.
In addition
, parents play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in children's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They should teach their children about the consequences of violent acts and motivate them to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
by giving them moral values. All this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
among the criminal and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in reducing the rate of wrongdoing,
especially
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

To conclude
, I maintain that adolescents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive and can be
easily
influenced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
activities.
Therefore
, every parent should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their child develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thinking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
Also
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take action on things that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the thinking of children in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay nowadays the crime rate is increasing especially among teenagers. what are the reasons behind it and how can we reverse this trend. What punishment methods should be used in your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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