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Nowadays technology is influencing modern art in areas such as design, painting and film. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays technology is influencing modern art in areas such as design, painting and film. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? gY5Q1
These days machinery becomes more impacting to the some fields of current art. I believe this trend has several negative consequences and a number of positive outcomes. On the one hand, technology makes the work of design, painting and film much more affordable and easier. With the help of technology, the work of painters, designers and film makers become facile. This makes to bring one’s work to the another places of world. For instance, painters said that who paints his work on computer corrects every line and it will be the same even it has 10 or 8 lines and they send their e-version work easily in order to participate. to the exhibition. Moreover, film makers illustrate their films or cartoons more complicated and animated and this trend has a great positive on income of people but also government. On the other hand, impacting the technology to the modern art has many negative results. Firstly, technology in the paintings can not show the real beauty of them who especially is keen on painting. Influencing of technology creates artificialism, unlike naturalization which reach your heart with amazing creativity. The artificial world often leads people to realize reality that is often negative. Nowadays people shows that all artificial things are the most beautiful and amazing. Not knowing the true attraction is against naturalization. To sum up, the impacting of technology in the modern art is increasing day by day and this has both a range of cons sides and many severe several outcomes.
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
machinery becomes more impacting to the
Did you mean "same"?
some
fields of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
art. I believe this trend has several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences and a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of design, painting and film much more affordable and easier. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of painters, designers and film makers become facile. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
to bring one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to the another places of world.
For instance
, painters said that who paints his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on computer corrects every line and it will be the same even it has 10 or 8
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lines and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their e-version
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
easily
in order to participate.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
the exhibition.
Moreover
, film makers illustrate their films or cartoons more complicated and animated and this trend has a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
on income of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

On the other hand
, impacting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to the modern art has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the paintings can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the real beauty of them who
especially
is keen on painting. Influencing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
creates
Possible spelling mistake found.
artificialism
, unlike naturalization which reach your heart with amazing creativity. The artificial world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to realize reality
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
shows
that all artificial things are the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and amazing. Not knowing the true attraction is against naturalization.

To sum up, the impacting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the modern art is increasing day by day and this has both a range of cons sides and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
severe several outcomes.
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IELTS essay Nowadays technology is influencing modern art in areas such as design, painting and film. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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