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In recent days, majority of fathers care for their children staying at home instead of working while mothers take responsibility for earning money. I believe that in most cases mothers only work in order to help to increase their income.

In recent days, majority of fathers care for their children staying at home instead of working while mothers take responsibility for earning money. I believe that in most cases mothers only work in order to help to increase their income. BlJ55
In recent days, majority of fathers care for their children staying at home instead of working while mothers take responsibility for earning money. I believe that in most cases mothers only work in order to help to increase their income. Firstly, I think that, fathers take responsibility for upbringing them, regardless they work or not. That is to say that, if fathers stay at home taking care of children, that is not because of working mothers, but due to that interesting and wondering of children's behavior and future. In my view, the role of fathers in the upbringing of children is really important. Moreover, staying at home and caring for Children of fathers reduce disagreement between parents and children. In other words, children do not complain that their fathers spend less time for them. This may not only help to reduce disagreement, but also help to strengthen relationships. Finally, despite many claims about negative opinions of taking children of fathers staying at home instead of working I have never seen that they do not support income of family and not give all responsibility for earning money to mothers. Taking into consideration, I would say that, staying at home and caring for children of fathers has no negative side instead of working mothers. Working and taking care children of mothers are not the main factors that shape their children behavior and fathers can even be major in upbringing of their children for the whole life.
In recent days,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
at home
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
while mothers take responsibility for earning money. I believe that
in most cases
mothers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
work in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase their income.

Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
take responsibility for upbringing them, regardless they work or not.
That is
to say that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
stay at home taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
that is
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
mothers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to that interesting and wondering of children's behavior and future. In my view, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
in the upbringing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
at home and caring for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
disagreement between parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not complain that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
spend less time for them. This may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
disagreement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to strengthen relationships.

Finally
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
claims about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
opinions of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
at home
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
I have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that they do not support income of family and not give all responsibility for earning money to mothers.

Taking into consideration, I would say that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
at home and caring for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
has no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
mothers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
and taking care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of mothers are not the main factors that shape their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
behavior and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
can even be major in upbringing of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for the whole life.
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IELTS essay In recent days, majority of fathers care for their children staying at home instead of working while mothers take responsibility for earning money. I believe that in most cases mothers only work in order to help to increase their income.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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