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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Today technology is being used as one of the ways to control people’s actions through phone calls or monitoring cameras. In many situations, however, people are not awared about that fact that they are being monitored. In my opinion, benefits of people’s being watched by cameras outweigh drawbacks. From the one side, monitoring people through cameras or cellphone tracking has positive effects for both society and individuals. Firstly, it would be easier for government to identify people who are planning crime. For example, terroristical actions and halt them by arresting. Moreover, if they are caught up by police officers, it would be safe for society to avoid tragical influence from criminal actions. Secondly, watching people through monitoring cameras would be helpful for individuals in terms of being more ethical. In other words, if people are awared of that fact that they are under monitoring, they unlikely might behave themselves in inappropriate way. Therefore, watching people through security cameras has positive influence for both community and individual. From the other side, ther is few number of supporters who claim that controlling people through calls or security cameras would lead to destruction of their privacy. In their opinion, these actions from government can build up in people untrustful attitude towards state. However, I consider that these beliefs are not standing reasons to stop monitoring people because these actions are being done only for people’s security. Therefore, there are more beneficial sides of monitoring people rather than negative ones. To sum up, while people may vary in their opinions, I believe that controlling people is more advantageous.
Today
technology is being
used
as one of the ways to control
people’s
actions
through
phone calls or
monitoring
cameras
. In
many
situations,
however
,
people
are not
awared
about that fact that they are
being monitored
. In my opinion, benefits of
people’s
being
watched
by
cameras
outweigh drawbacks.

From the one side,
monitoring
people
through
cameras
or cellphone tracking has
positive
effects for both society and individuals.
Firstly
, it would be easier for
government
to identify
people
who are planning crime.
For example
,
terroristical
actions and halt them by arresting.
Moreover
, if they
are caught
up by police officers, it would be safe for society to avoid
tragical
influence from criminal actions.
Secondly
, watching
people
through
monitoring
cameras
would be helpful for individuals in terms of being more ethical.
In other words
, if
people
are
awared
of that fact that they are under
monitoring
, they unlikely might behave themselves in inappropriate way.
Therefore
, watching
people
through
security
cameras
has
positive
influence for both community and individual.

From the other side,
ther
is
few number
of supporters who claim that controlling
people
through
calls or security
cameras
would lead to destruction of their privacy. In their opinion, these actions from
government
can build up in
people
untrustful
attitude towards state.
However
, I consider that these beliefs are not standing reasons to
stop
monitoring
people
because
these actions are
being done
only
for
people’s
security.
Therefore
, there are more beneficial sides of
monitoring
people
rather
than
negative
ones.

To sum up, while
people
may vary in their opinions, I believe that controlling
people
is more advantageous.
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IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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