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Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor

Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor DVWVk
In this neoteric aera technology is increasingly being used to monitor like a cell phone tracking as well as a security camera. On the other hand, in many cases, the individual being monitor are unaware that this is happening. Due to this plethora of proponents hold an opinion that, In this era of Science and Technology, it is extremely easy to monitor the activity of the people by using mobile phone and camera. I partially concur and this treaties will not only elaborate my persecution but also provide a conclusion in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, there are a number of factor to support my point that is why I think, In areas where there is a high crime rate, the use of security camera so that the crime rate can be reduced. In other words, in this contemporary era, there are numerous places. In all countries where cameras are installed due to the fact there are a lot of thefts and Robberies these day. with the help of cameras the police officer can easily find the thief. For example the highest number of theft took place in Brazil, where cameras were used to reduce theft. As a result security cameras are useful for anybody. its secure miss happening. Moving further, there are a multivarious reason why masses install tracking system on their mobile phone due to fact, it is a supremely useful for individual sometime people lose their mobile phone. with the help of tracking system, they can easily find their mobile phone. Moreover, these days there are a lot of number of hackers in nation. They hack mobile phone only celebrity and political person due to the fact, they belongs to rich family. For instance, In North America, kevin mitnick is a main hacker that time, he hacked so many mobile phone and account. On the other hand, unequivocally why this day it is the reported that uses of technological tools has increased such as a video camera that are placed everywhere by authorities. some people believe that this is against human rights and freedom where people should have their own privacy. Besides that, this monitoring data could be misused by the member of the authorities. To conclude, although, there are various factor use to video camera and tracking system to monitor their resident activities. therefore, some people believe that they are against human privacy policy.
In this neoteric
Possible spelling mistake found.
aera
technology is
increasingly
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monitor
like a cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
tracking
as well
as a security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
.
On the other hand
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, the individual being
Consider using a past participle here: "monitored".
monitor
are unaware that this is happening.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this plethora of proponents hold an opinion that, In this era of Science and Technology, it is
extremely
easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monitor
the activity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
. I
partially
concur and
Did you mean "these"?
this
treaties will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
elaborate my persecution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide a conclusion in the subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, there are a number of factor to support my point
that is
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, In areas where there is a high crime rate, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the crime rate can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
In other words
, in this contemporary era, there are numerous places. In all countries where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are installed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
thefts and Robberies
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
the police officer can
easily
find the thief.
For example
the highest number of theft took place in Brazil, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
theft.
As a result
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are useful for anybody.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
its
secure miss happening.

Moving
further
, there are a
Possible spelling mistake found.
multivarious
reason why masses install tracking system on their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to fact, it is a
supremely
useful for individual sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of tracking system, they can
easily
find their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
Moreover
, these days there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
number of hackers in nation. They hack mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
celebrity and political person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "belong"
belongs
to rich family.
For instance
, In North America,
Possible spelling mistake found.
kevin
Possible spelling mistake found.
mitnick
is a main hacker that time, he hacked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and account.

On the other hand
,
unequivocally
why this day it is the reported that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of technological tools has increased such as a video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
that
are placed
everywhere by authorities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this is against human rights and freedom where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
privacy.
Besides
that, this monitoring data could
be misused
by the member of the authorities.

To conclude
, although, there are various factor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
and tracking system to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monitor
their resident activities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they are against human privacy policy.

IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
399 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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