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Nowadays, subjects and lesson contents should be decided by the authorities such as Government. Many people suggest that teachers should make the choice. Discuss both view and give your own opinion? v.2

Nowadays, subjects and lesson contents should be decided by the authorities such as Government. Many people suggest that teachers should make the choice. v. 2
It is true that education plays a compulsory part of each person, particularly children. While many people believe that study programs are managed by the Government or the Ministry of Education, I would argue that teachers should be responsible for this task. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why the contents of school subjects should be taken place by politicians. First of all, the different fields of knowledge are synthesized by experts who have the high degree, so the contents of textbooks are much more accurate compared to those books are written by teachers who are usually concentrated in the specific fields. Secondly, publishing schoolbooks cost the writers a great deal, and only the Government has enough ability in terms of finance to take place this task. If teachers decide the subjects contents, they will have to spend a lot of time to deal with many steps such as providing the real data, referencing from other experts, and printing leading to overburdening with work. Thus, they will not enhance the level of job performance. On the other hand, I believe that teachers have the obligation to take part on the lesson contents they are going to teach. To begin with, schoolteachers are directly exposed to students, so they understand what they are realistic to need or how to bring enjoyment to them. For instance, my literature’s teacher had rearranged the position of some lessons in the textbook to help us easily to draw inspiration from interesting topics. In addition, as they have a close contact with children in daily life, they will have clearer ideas than the authorities. As a result, they will not only focus on the parts which are the best ways for students to learn effectively, but also ignore the unnecessary contents which have not broadened their horizons. In conclusion, although both teachers and politicians are suitable to determine the subjects, it seems to me that it is better for the students’ future if the selection of the topic is decided by the teachers.
It is true that education plays a compulsory part of each person,
particularly
children. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that study programs
are managed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
or the Ministry of Education, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should be responsible for this task.

On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why the contents of school subjects should
be taken
place by politicians.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of knowledge
are synthesized
by experts who have the high degree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the contents of textbooks are much more accurate compared to those books
are written
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who are
usually
concentrated in the specific fields.
Secondly
, publishing schoolbooks cost the writers a great deal, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ability in terms of finance to take place this task. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
decide the subjects contents, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps such as providing the real data, referencing from other experts, and printing leading to overburdening with work.
Thus
, they will not enhance the level of job performance.

On the other hand
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have the obligation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
on the lesson contents they are going to teach. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, schoolteachers are
directly
exposed to students,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they understand what they are realistic to need or how to bring enjoyment to them.
For instance
, my literature’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
had rearranged the position of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lessons in the textbook to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
easily
to draw inspiration from interesting topics.
In addition
, as they have a close contact with children in daily life, they will have clearer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
than the authorities.
As a result
, they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on the parts which are the best ways for students to learn
effectively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the unnecessary contents which have not broadened their horizons.

In conclusion
, although both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and politicians are suitable to determine the subjects, it seems to me that it is better for the students’ future if the selection of the topic
is decided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, subjects and lesson contents should be decided by the authorities such as Government. Many people suggest that teachers should make the choice. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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