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Nowadays, sport is becoming a business and more and more professional and big companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, sport is becoming a business and more and more professional and big companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or a negative development? RWAXV
Undoubtedly, sport industry is getting fame nowadays since the technology had been arrived in all part of life. Consequently, many big organizations are investing time and money on it. This essay will intended to discuss whether it is positive or negative development and terminate this essay with my opinion. To discuss the merits, firstly, this development laid to the good encouragement and awareness of sports among the public as sports are becoming famous, people had developed the interest of particular sport. For example, cricket is the most famous sport in India it is because of the investors who invested money in cricket. Every year the cricket tournament called IPL is organized. Secondly, if any game became famous, the play ground would be fully crowded, in a result, it enhanced the tourism. Ultimately, the host country of sport events will get some financial help as local business get boost. To talk about the disadvantages, sometime it would be mean to host country's culture and tradition as many foreigner don't know about the culture of country where the event was held and unknowingly hurt the local citizen and tradition. Moreover, if they use the sport as a business than it is a indirect insult of that particular sport. To wrap the discussion it is clearly concluded that, it has both positive and negative development but in my view, the merits overweight the demerits.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
industry is getting fame nowadays since the technology had
been arrived
in all part of life.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
organizations are investing time and money on it. This essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "intend"
intended
to discuss whether it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development and terminate this essay with my opinion.

To discuss the merits,
firstly
, this development laid to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
encouragement and awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
among the public as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had developed the interest of particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
For example
, cricket is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in India it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the investors who invested money in cricket. Every year the cricket tournament called
Possible spelling mistake found.
IPL
is organized
.
Secondly
, if any game became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, the play ground would be
fully
crowded, in a result, it enhanced the tourism.
Ultimately
, the host country of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
as local business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
boost.

To talk about the disadvantages, sometime it would be mean to host country's culture and tradition as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreigner don't know about the culture of country where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
was held
and
unknowingly
hurt the local citizen and tradition.
Moreover
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as a business than it is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
indirect insult of that particular sport.

To wrap the discussion it is
clearly
concluded that, it has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my view, the merits overweight the demerits.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, sport is becoming a business and more and more professional and big companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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