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in the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment

in the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment 7p6ob
Many people think in the future most people prefer go to shopping mall both for entertainment and shopping. But online shopping is increasing these days. People can buy any items they need from their home. In my view, they can enjoying shopping or entertainment at malls with their friends. Currently, many people purchase some item from shopping online because COVID_19 has made us less likely to go shopping malls. For example you buy a pair of shoes from online shopping. firstly you need to turn on your phone and order anything you want such as food, clothes, vegetables, etc. Sometimes you can order from foreign countries so it may not be your size. as you know when you buy something online you can buy it easily for instance Amazon is the biggest online site in the world you can buy anything and some of item have a discount. Some people believe they can save more money of buying from online shopping. On the other hand you can try on clothes if you like it you can buy it. As you know malls have a lot of entertainment such as cinema, bowling alleys and they have a safe cafe you can go with your friends or family and order anything you need. in some shopping mall you can see retail shop, some people like them. Most shopping malls have a good atmosphere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in the future most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
both for entertainment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is increasing these days.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
any items they need from their home. In my view, they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "enjoy"
enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
or entertainment at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
with their friends.

Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
item from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
_19 has made us less likely to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, you".
example you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a pair of shoes from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
you need to turn on your phone and order anything you want such as food, clothes, vegetables, etc.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
you can order from foreign countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may not be your size.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
you know when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it
easily
for instance
Amazon is the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
site in the world you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
anything and
Consider using "some item" or "some of the item".
some of item
have a discount.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe they can save more money of buying from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping.

On the other hand
you can try on clothes if you like it you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it. As you know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
entertainment such as cinema, bowling
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
alleys and
they have a safe
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
your friends or family and order anything you need.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
retail shop,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like them. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
atmosphere.
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IELTS essay in the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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