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Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In a recent time, it can be seen that women gives tough competition to men in every sector. This trend is also followed by some companies as, they offers same number of jobs to men and women both. If asked, it is positive development in this contemporary world. My inclination is justified further. To begin with, appointing women in some companies is beneficial for both, company as well as women. As it offers a handsome salary, it could become a helping hand to women to live a lavish lifestyle and some work related to packaging in companies done by women is far better than the other workers. Moreover, offering same number of jobs to both genders lead to balance in the society. Both gender could attain equal amount of respect without any discrimination and it could also boost the literacy rate of women. Focusing on other positive development, same amount of male and female workers in a company could develop their annual turnover. By this I mean, male workers could improve their work to impress the other female employees and it would indirectly improve the wealth of the company. Adding to this, cosmetic companies could also improve their income by giving jobs to females. Women could do their best in some cosmetic company as compared to male workers. Thus, to wrap up the discussion, nowadays, we see more and more companies offers equal amount of jobs to both men and women and it could helpful to them as to improve their annual income, boost economy of nation and also have positive effects of literacy rate of females.
In a recent time, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
gives tough competition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in every sector. This trend is
also
followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "offer"
offers
same number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
both. If asked, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development in this contemporary world. My inclination
is justified
further
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, appointing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is beneficial for both,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. As it offers a handsome salary, it could become a helping hand to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a lavish lifestyle and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work related to packaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is far better than the other workers.
Moreover
, offering same number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to both genders lead to balance in the society. Both gender could attain equal amount of respect without any discrimination and it could
also
boost the literacy rate of women.

Focusing on other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, same amount of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
workers in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
could develop their annual turnover. By this I mean, male workers could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their work to impress the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
employees and it would
indirectly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the wealth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Adding to this, cosmetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their income by giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
could do their best in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cosmetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as compared to male workers.

Thus
, to wrap up the discussion, nowadays, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
offers equal amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and it
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
could helpful
to them as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their annual income, boost economy of nation and
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of literacy rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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