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Nowadays some professionals such as doctors, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary works. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries?

It is unquestionable that doctors, lawyers and engineers. Are paid higher than average workers, in this notion I’m going to bound my statement, and suggest some occupations that worth to earn high salary. To begin with, doctors, lawyers, and engineers are undoubtedly required to have a high salary. Firstly, to have a degree in this profession, they need to study way more than a common course. For example, Doctor need to earn a bachelor’s degree for 4 years after that another 4 years for training, here after the residency and followed by practice to complete the profession. They must also endure struggles to finally reach the cost of pretty penny. Secondly, it requires a lot of financial involvement to conquer this degree. Some of the students need to loan for their study, which they have to repay later on. Therefore they are remaining in debt. Even though they are done with the study. Their eligible to have a high salary because common courses don’t need to spend a huge amount of money on their college and university fees. And some of these professions are around the clock they need to invest for health and emotional support for their everyday grind. Although they have a huge income some of them are struggling throughout their lives. There are many jobs, which also need higher salaries. Such as, farmers, teachers, nurses and many more. These are admirable profession. That needs a rewarding salary, some of these profession beneficial all of us. For example, farmers they are the one that provides are daily goods like rice, fruits and vegetables, which we eat every day, a teacher that tough us some of the fundamental skilled for the very young age. In conclusion, it’s undeniable that lawyers, doctors, and engineers deserved being paid high salaries. And many others profession are there which need to be paid more.
It is unquestionable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
, lawyers and engineers.
Are paid
higher than average workers, in this notion I’m going to bound my statement, and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occupations that worth to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
, lawyers, and engineers are
undoubtedly
required to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
Firstly
, to have a degree in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to study way more than a common course.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to earn a bachelor’s degree for 4 years after that another 4 years for training, here after the residency and followed by practice to complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
endure struggles to
finally
reach the cost of pretty penny.

Secondly
, it requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
financial involvement to conquer this degree.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to loan for their study, which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
repay later on.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they are remaining in debt.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
they
are done
with the study. Their eligible to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
common courses don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to spend a huge amount of money on their college and university fees. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
are around the clock they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to invest for health and emotional support for their everyday grind.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
they have a huge income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are struggling throughout their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs, which
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. Such as, farmers, teachers, nurses and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. These are admirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
a rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
beneficial all of us.
For example
, farmers they are the one that provides are daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
like rice, fruits and vegetables, which we eat every day, a teacher that tough us
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
fundamental skilled for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.

In conclusion
, it’s undeniable that lawyers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
, and engineers deserved
being paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "others'" or "other's"?
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
are there which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be paid
more.
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IELTS essay Nowadays some professionals such as doctors, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary works. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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