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It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In this era, in many developing countries where most of the population is below poverty line is struggling to get one meal a day as there are very less employment opportunities due to lower economy of the country. People are commiting crimes to fulfill the needs of their family leading to more crimes. Due to the rise in crimes Journalist and writers are writing more real stories based on the actual crime events such as drug trafficking and Heists are becoming more popular. TV crime dramas are also based on the true documentaries. I would be putting light on the reasons and my opinion in the paragraphs below. Due to the rise in population and enormously demanding competition among each individual. Everyone is looking to earn more money while the employment opportunities are lesser that the number of Canditates applying. Some people choose the path of Crime such as Robbery, Snatching, and planning heist to get big amount of money without working hard so as to fulfil the needs of their families. Because of these unlawful events taking place all over the world journalist now a days are writing and creating TV shows, documentaries so as to make the innocent people know about what is being happening and how to take safety measures to survive in the world of crimes. I firmly believe that these TV shows are becoming popular because people are scared and want to get educated about the Current Crime news to better deal with those kind of situation. For instance, most people are eager to learn self defence techniques to better handle the situation. Morover, in my opinion it is very important to watch such TV crime dramas and read crime fiction which can actually prepare your mind to deal with such situations. one of the TV program I remember I watched with my sister called Money Heist which taught us how to self defence. One day my sister was coming back home from her office and two guys tried to rob her but instead getting panicked. She bravely put the spice spray which she used to carry for her safety in their eyes and succeded in coming back home with her purse. That night she made me realise how important it is to watch such shows which made her keep the spray. In a nut shell I would say these crime fictions and TV dramas are very useful and interesting too sometime. We should encourage innocent people by educating them with the advantages.
In this era, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
where most of the population is below poverty line is struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one meal a day as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less employment opportunities due to lower economy of the country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to fulfill the needs of their family leading to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Due to the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
Journalist and writers are writing more real stories based on the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as drug trafficking and Heists are becoming more popular. TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
dramas are
also
based on the true documentaries. I would be putting light on the reasons and my opinion in the paragraphs below.

Due to the rise in population and
enormously
demanding competition among each individual. Everyone is looking to earn more money while the employment opportunities are lesser that the number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canditates
applying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose the path of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
such as Robbery, Snatching, and planning heist to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of money without working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
fulfil the needs of their families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these unlawful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
taking place all over the world journalist
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
are writing and creating TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, documentaries
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know about what is being happening and how to take safety measures to survive in the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. I
firmly
believe that these TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are becoming popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are scared
and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educated about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
news to better deal with
Did you mean "this kind" or "those kinds"?
those kind
of situation.
For instance
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eager to learn
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self defence
techniques to better handle the situation.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Morover
, in my opinion it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
such TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
dramas and read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
fiction which can actually prepare your mind to deal with such situations.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of the TV program I remember I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
with my sister called Money Heist which taught us how to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self defence
. One day my sister was coming back home from her office and two guys tried to rob her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
getting panicked. She
bravely
put the spice spray which she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to carry for her safety in their eyes and
Possible spelling mistake found.
succeded
in coming back home with her purse. That night she made me
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
it is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which made her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the spray.

In a nut shell I would say these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
fictions and TV dramas are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful and interesting too sometime. We should encourage innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by educating them with the advantages.
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IELTS essay It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
418 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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