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nowadays some people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has negative effect on countries travelled to. to what extent do you agree or disagree

nowadays some people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has negative effect on countries travelled to. BJYA9
Recently, numerous people make a tour to overseas for entertainment. Some part of people claim that this trip has a unfavourable influence on the countries journeyed. This essay will disagree with the given statement. Firstly, İt can bring world-view. Secondly, people gain a number of useful datas about city which they tripped. First reason the more people visit, the more they are acquainted with most facts. Because it is efficient to learn about any country throughtly by means of travelling. Furthermore, every so often, it is impossible to reach accurate details via the internet. İt is better to make conversation with local people of the town. Current researches indicate that travelling person is more open-minded and creative rather than the other group of people. İn a conclusion, We can say exactly journey is an indispensible experience for all people.
Recently, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a tour to overseas for entertainment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that this trip has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
influence on the countries journeyed. This essay will disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
İt
can bring world-view. S
econdly,
p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eople
gain a number of useful
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
about city which they tripped. F
irst
reason the more p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eople
visit, the more they
are acquainted
with most facts. B
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ecause
it is efficient to learn about any country
Possible spelling mistake found.
throughtly
by means of travelling. F
urthermore,
every s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
o
o
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ften,
it is impossible to reach accurate d
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
etails
via the internet.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İt
is better to ma
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ke c
onversation with local pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople o
f the town.

Cu
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rrent r
esearches indicate that travelling person is more open-minded and creative ra
ther t
han the other group of pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
a conclusion, We can say exactly journey is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
indispensible
experience for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay nowadays some people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has negative effect on countries travelled to.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • nowadays some people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has negative effect on countries travelled to. to what extent do you agree or disagree