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Nowadays some people think that public libraries are not necessary, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion and examples. v.3

Nowadays some people think that public libraries are not necessary, while others disagree. v. 3
These days, modern people are not willing to visit the libraries, because of the development of advanced technologies. They can get the information from the internet resources, if they have an access to the net. In this regard, many people tend to think that local libraries are not necessary. However, others feel that these kinds of places are essential for the people to find a peace and quiet while they are studying. Personally, I believe that individuals need a place for the communication and collaboration. On the one hand, it is true that people may need a place to collaborate with other people, share the ideas and communicate with other individuals in order to raise their productivity and efficiency. Furthermore, they can find peace and quiet in these places, as many people work in the bustling environment. To illustrate, many students often visit the libraries, as they live in a noisy atmosphere with their friends or relatives. In addition, these places can serve as a location, where many individuals can make a new friend. On the other hand, it is clear that digital technologies can replace the old methods of getting information. Nowadays, there are many e-books on the internet. Furthermore, online resources are convenient and suitable for many individuals, as they do not need to go to the library in order to find the articles, assignments and textbooks. For instance, they can use the internet, wherever they want, as many gadgets have an access to the net. In addition, they can watch the scientific videos, observe the experiments and listen to podcasts. In conclusion, although many people are not keen to visit the library, this location can be beneficial for the communication with other individuals. In this reason, I believe that the role of this place is very essential for the citizens, especially for the students.
These days, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not willing to visit the libraries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of advanced technologies. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information from the internet resources, if they have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to the net. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that local libraries are not necessary.
However
, others feel that these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find a peace and quiet while they are studying.
Personally
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for the communication and collaboration.

On the one hand, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to collaborate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, share the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in order to raise their productivity and efficiency.
Furthermore
, they can find peace and quiet in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work in the bustling environment. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit the libraries, as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a noisy atmosphere with their friends or relatives.
In addition
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can serve as a location, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new friend.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that digital technologies can replace the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
methods of getting information. Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
e-books on the internet.
Furthermore
, online resources are convenient and suitable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, as they do not need to go to the library in order to find the articles, assignments and textbooks.
For instance
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet, wherever they want, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
gadgets have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to the net.
In addition
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the scientific videos, observe the experiments and listen to podcasts.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not keen to visit the library, this location can be beneficial for the communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this reason, I believe that the role of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for the citizens,
especially
for the students.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays some people think that public libraries are not necessary, while others disagree. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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