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Advertising influence people to buy things such as clothes and shoes. What are the problems caused by that? What solution should be given? v.1

Advertising influence people to buy things such as clothes and shoes. What are the problems caused by that? What solution should be given? v. 1
Advertisement, marketing a product using different media sources, is the main technique to reap more benefits by burgeoning the sales of that particular product. Marketing, definitely, provokes/motivates people to buy new clothing and footwears. The most important consideration is, people end up buying the wrong products as they blindly start trusting the products after watching the advert. This is because, not only are they showing the fake information, but also more inclined towards bullying the people. For example, shoes advertisement that is telecasted on the television, gives an impression that XYZ brand shoes are the world's best shoes and individuals buy those products blindly without checking the authenticity. In addition to this, cheap quality products can be sold at sky-touching prices after giving them a brand name and the local business suffers due to this. Under the influence of advertisement, everyone is becoming the part of same crowd/following the flock of sheep to buy big companies' clothes and sandals. To solve this problem, there should be a regulatory body to check the quality and authenticity of the marketed products. This will ensure that anything, that is being advertised, is not just to lure the customers instead is a genuine and authentic product. Secondly, eminent personalities should consider verifying the background details of a brand and, only after this, they should become the brand ambassador of a company. This is the only way that big brands will not be able to brainwash people. To cite an instance, in our local area cable channel, channel owner does not allow telecasting any fake information to mislead people. Therefore, our city is free from any problems caused due local adverts. In conclusion, television breaks may lead to various kinds of issues such as deceiving people and impacting local business's growth, but under the umbrella of a regulatory body these problems can be resolved easily.
Advertisement, marketing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
media sources, is the main technique to reap more benefits by burgeoning the sales of that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Marketing, definitely, provokes/motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new clothing and
Possible spelling mistake found.
footwears
.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as they
blindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
trusting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
after watching the advert. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are they showing the fake information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
more inclined towards bullying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, shoes advertisement
that is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
on the television, gives an impression that XYZ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
shoes are the world's best shoes and individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
blindly
without checking the authenticity.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
be sold
at sky-touching prices after giving them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
name and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business suffers due to this. Under the influence of advertisement, everyone is becoming the part of same crowd/following the flock of sheep to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' clothes and sandals.

To solve this problem, there should be a regulatory body to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the quality and authenticity of the marketed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This will ensure that anything,
that is
being advertised
, is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to lure the customers
instead
is a genuine and authentic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Secondly
, eminent personalities should consider verifying the background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
and,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after this, they should become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
ambassador of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
will not be able to brainwash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To cite an instance, in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
area cable channel, channel owner does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
telecasting any fake information to mislead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, our city is free from any problems caused due
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
adverts.

In conclusion
, television breaks may lead to various kinds of issues such as deceiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and impacting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business's growth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
under the umbrella of a regulatory body these problems can
be resolved
easily
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising influence people to buy things such as clothes and shoes. What are the problems caused by that? What solution should be given? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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