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Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance in school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over-enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on a child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well in school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education?

Nowadays, some parents put pressure their children to be successful. What are the reasons for this. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2
Nowadays, it’s a regular trend to put pressure on children to do well in school and for this parents play a vital role. On the other hand, there are also some children, who do not get any support from their parents. Parents do this due to the worriedness about their kid’s future and in my opinion, parents can act as a teacher, mentor, and guide for their children. To begin with, parent wants to see their children successful in future and they intentionally set a goal for their them. To achieve this goal, not only the children but also the parent expense lot of time. Parents think that if their children do well in school then they will get good job in future. For this reason, parents put lots of pressure on them to come first in education. For example, a recent study found that about 85% parents in Bangladesh are worried about their kid’s career and that’s why they try to pressurize them to get high score in school. Parent can act as a teacher, mentor, and a guide for their kid. Because children do not have enough knowledge to take their own decision and they do not have the capability to distinguish the bad or good. As parents can guide them to choose best option. Sometimes, children try to find someone that they want to be like them and parents can be act as a mentor. For instance, a study conducted by The Journal of Mental Health published that about 90% children are succeed in their school life, whose parents were act as a teacher, mentor, and guide but they do not pressurize their children for education. In conclusion, to make successful in future, children only need proper guidance and that can be provided by parents. Only by putting pressure on them it is not possible to make them successful.
Nowadays, it’s a regular trend to put pressure on
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children
to do well in school and for
Did you mean "these"?
this
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parents
play a vital role.
On the other hand
, there are
also
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some
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children
, who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any support from their
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parents
.
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Parents
do this due to the
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worriedness
about their kid’s
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future
and in my opinion,
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parents
can
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act
as a teacher,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentor
, and
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guide
for their children.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
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parent
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
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children
successful in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
they
intentionally
set a goal for their them. To achieve this goal, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
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children
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but
also
the
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parent
expense lot of time.
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Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if their
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children
do well in school then they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in
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future
.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
put lots of pressure on them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
first
in education.
For example
, a recent study found that about 85%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in Bangladesh
are worried
about their kid’s career and that’s why they try to pressurize them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high score in school.

Parent can
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act
as a teacher,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentor
, and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
for their kid.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
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children
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decision and
they do not have the capability to distinguish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
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parents
can
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guide
them to choose best option.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
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children
try to find someone that they want to be like them and
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parents
can be
Consider using a past participle here: "acted".
act
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentor
.
For instance
, a study conducted by The Journal of Mental Health published that about 90%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Consider using a past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
in their school life, whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
as a teacher,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentor
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not pressurize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for education.

In conclusion
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need proper guidance and that can
be provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by putting pressure on them it is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them successful.
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IELTS essay Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance in school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over-enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on a child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well in school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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