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Nowadays, some parents put pressure their children to be successful. What are the reasons for this. Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

Few children receive no motivation from their parents regarding school performance whereas others get huge pressure from their parents which can bring negative influence to children. In my opinion, some parents think very highly of their children capacity and also because of their narrow mind they pressurize their child to perform well at school. Parents can play a number of roles jn their children's education. Some parents think very highly of their children capability. They pressurize them to do better in studies even if the children might not be interested in it. For instance, some students are keen on playing sports, arts, music, etcetera and they are very talented at it while they might be poor at studies. In this situation, parents pressurizing them to do getter in studies can only be torturous. Likewise, some parents are of the view that if their children are educated then they will have a stable job, dignity and happy life. They are narrow minded and firmly believes that performing well at school makes them better person. Let say, if A performs well at school then he is likely to get a good job, his life will be prosperous as compared to the one who does poor ij schools. Except pressurizing children to perform better in school, parents can encourage them to follow their interested paths. They are likely to achieve the success in life. For example, if parents encourage their children to stidy and follow their dreams then the children are prone to achieve success quickly. For this they should understand the children's need and desires. They should cooperate with them and enroll them in classes such as music, arts, swimming, dance, etcetera to motivate them to become better at it. Another role to be played by parents is to be the bestest friend of their children. If parents become the closest friend then the child will be able to open their difficulties and share their genuine feelings. It will help to develop good bonds between the two and also help the children to be more focused in their education. To conclude, some parents think highly of their kids academic skills and also they are small minded which leads to negative impact in children. In contrary, parents can encourage their children to follow their interested journey of career and also become their nearest friend to shape their childrens education.
Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
receive no motivation from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
performance whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
huge pressure from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
which can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
highly
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
capacity and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their narrow mind they pressurize their child to perform well at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can play a number of roles
Possible spelling mistake found.
jn
their children's education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
highly
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
capability. They pressurize them to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in studies even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might not
be interested
in it.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students are keen on playing sports, arts, music,
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
etcetera and
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
talented at it while they might be poor at studies. In this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
pressurizing them to do getter in studies can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be torturous.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are of the view that if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are educated
then they will have a stable job, dignity and happy life. They are
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
narrow minded
and
firmly
believes that performing well at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
person.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
say, if A performs well at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
then he is likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job, his life will be prosperous as compared to the one who does poor
Possible spelling mistake found.
ij
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Except pressurizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can encourage them to follow their interested paths. They are likely to achieve the success in life.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
stidy
and follow their dreams then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are prone to achieve success
quickly
. For this they should understand the children's need and desires. They should cooperate with them and enroll them in classes such as music, arts, swimming, dance, etcetera to motivate them to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
at it. Another role to
be played
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is to be the
The word “bestest” is informal. Consider using “best”.
bestest
friend of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
become the closest friend then the child will be able to open their difficulties and share their genuine feelings. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
bonds between the two and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be more focused in their education.
To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
highly
of their kids academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
also
they are
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
small minded
which leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In contrary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to follow their interested journey of career and
also
become their nearest friend to shape their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
education.
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IELTS essay Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
396 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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