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Nowadays percentage of overweight children are increased.Give its causes and solutions.

Nowadays percentage of overweight children are increased. Give its causes and solutions. 02x3
The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Over the last ten years, western societies have seen close to a 20% rise in the number of children who are overweight. This essay will discuss some reasons why this has occurred and examine the consequences of this worrying trend. The main cause of this problem is poor diet. Over the last decade there has been a prolific increase in the number of fast food restaurants. For example, on nearly every high street there is a MacDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut. The food in these places has been proven to be very unhealthy, and much of the advertising is targeted at children, thus ensuring that they constitute the bulk of the customers of these establishments. However, it is not only due to eating out, but also
The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Over the last ten years, western societies have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
close to a 20% rise in the number of children who are overweight. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why this has occurred and examine the consequences of this worrying trend. The main cause of this problem is poor diet. Over the last decade there has been a prolific increase in the number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food restaurants.
For example
, on
nearly
every high street there is a MacDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut. The food in these places has
been proven
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unhealthy, and much of the advertising
is targeted
at children,
thus
ensuring that they constitute the bulk of the customers of these establishments.
However
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
due to eating out,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also

IELTS essay Nowadays percentage of overweight children are increased. Give its causes and solutions.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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