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Nowadays people have many consumer goods in their homes such as refrigerator, washing machines. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays people have many consumer goods in their homes such as refrigerator, washing machines. Is it a positive or negative development? GMjQQ
It is undeniably true that development in technology has made peoples’ lives easier than in the past. In my opinion, consumer goods like washing machine and refrigerator have both positive and negative influences on people as it saves time, but it consumes a large proportion of electricity. On the one hand, saving time is the significant reason why I think having consumer goods at home is a positive trend to some extent. These days, spouses are working to obtain a good standard of living, so having worked the whole day, they are less inclined to cook a fresh meal in the evening due to tiredness. Therefore, they usually tend to cook food in the morning and store it in the fridge in order not to spoil and keep it fresh for a longer time. This results in them, saving time from preparing meal again and being able to consume food that kept in the fridge. Moreover, the washing machine is an important appliance in our lives. In the past, clothes were washed by hand, and it took a lot of time, particularly in winter, which used to take 2-3 days to dry clothes due to lack of sunlight. However, today we have a dryer in the washing machine which helps to wash and dry clothes easily and less than 30 minutes. Consequently, time can be saved. On the other hand, this trend is a negative development to a certain extent as these appliances run on electricity. To elucidate, generating of electricity requires the burning of fossil fuels, which release carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to a large proportion. Hence, it increases the earth’s temperature and causes global warming, which is the biggest threat to all human beings living in the 21st century. For example, news from the Economic Times on January 2020 reported that 65% of electricity is consumed by home appliances and this has resulted in a rise in earth’s temperature by 1-2%. In conclusion, although refrigerator and washing machines and other home appliances have made life easier by saving a lot of time, releasing the hazardous pollutants in the atmosphere leads to global warming and this is an inevitable negative influence on peoples’ lives.
It is
undeniably
true that development in technology has made peoples’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier than in the past. In my opinion, consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
like washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
and refrigerator have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it consumes a large proportion of electricity.

On the one hand, saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is the significant reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
having consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at home is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. These days, spouses are working to obtain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
standard of living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
having worked the whole day, they are less inclined to cook a fresh meal in the evening due to tiredness.
Therefore
, they
usually
tend to cook food in the morning and store it in the fridge in order not to spoil and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it fresh for a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This results in them, saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from preparing meal again and being able to consume food that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in the fridge.
Moreover
, the washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliance
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In the past, clothes
were washed
by hand, and it took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
particularly
in winter, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take 2-3 days to dry clothes due to lack of sunlight.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we have a dryer in the washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to wash and dry clothes
easily
and less than 30 minutes.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
be saved
.

On the other hand
, this trend is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development to a certain extent as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
run on electricity. To elucidate, generating of electricity requires the burning of fossil fuels, which release carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to a large proportion.
Hence
, it increases the earth’s temperature and causes global warming, which is the biggest threat to all human beings living in the 21st century.
For example
, news from the Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
on January 2020 reported that 65% of electricity
is consumed
by home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
and this has resulted in a rise in earth’s temperature by 1-2%.

In conclusion
, although refrigerator and washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and other home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
have made life easier by saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, releasing the hazardous pollutants in the atmosphere leads to global warming and this is an inevitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on peoples’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

IELTS essay Nowadays people have many consumer goods in their homes such as refrigerator, washing machines. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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