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Nowadays, people have argued about the function of video games. While a group in society supposes that these digital games are beneficial for mankind, others believe that they would be a distraction for the human mind. Although video game contains some positive sides, I consider it has more negative impacts on our minds and the following essay will discuss them in detail.

Nowadays, people have argued about the function of video games. While a group in society supposes that these digital games are beneficial for mankind, others believe that they would be a distraction for the human mind. Although video game contains some positive sides, I consider it has more negative impacts on our minds and the following essay will discuss them in detail. PkLPj
Nowadays, people have argued about the function of video games. While a group in society supposes that these digital games are beneficial for mankind, others believe that they would be a distraction for the human mind. Although video game contains some positive sides, I consider it has more negative impacts on our minds and the following essay will discuss them in detail. On the one hand, video games can be both entertaining and educational. Users or gamers are transported to virtual worlds which are often more exciting and engaging than real-life pastimes. From an educational perspective, these video games open opportunities and encourage gamers' imagination and creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking, and even problem solving, all of which are useful and necessary skills outside the game context. Furthermore, it has been shown that computer simulation games can improve people's motor skills and help them to prepare for real-world tasks, such as flying a plane. However, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. First and foremost, gaming can be highly addictive because users are constantly given scores, new targets, and frequent rewards. Many children, nowadays, spend hours each day trying to progress through the levels of a game or to get a higher score than their peers. Secondly, this type of addiction can leave a profound impact on many facets, ranging from lack of sleep to problems at school, when homework is sacrificed for a few more hours on computer and console. Last but not least, the high rate of obesity in recent years has been linked in part to the sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise that often accompany gaming addiction. In conclusion, it is noticeable that there are a plethora of benefits to playing a video game, however, I firmly believe that the potential dangers of it are much more significant.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have argued about the function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. While a group in society supposes that these digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are beneficial for mankind, others believe that they would be a distraction for the human mind. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides, I consider it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on our minds and the following essay will discuss them in detail.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be both entertaining and educational. Users or gamers
are transported
to virtual worlds which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
more exciting and engaging than real-life pastimes. From an educational perspective, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
open opportunities and encourage gamers' imagination and creativity,
as well
as concentration, logical thinking, and even problem solving, all of which are useful and necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
outside the game context.
Furthermore
, it has
been shown
that computer simulation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's motor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to prepare for real-world tasks, such as flying a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
.

However
, I would argue that these benefits
are outweighed
by the drawbacks.
First
and foremost, gaming can be
highly
addictive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
users are
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
scores, new targets, and frequent rewards.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
children, nowadays, spend hours each day trying to progress through the levels of a game or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher score than their peers.
Secondly
, this type of addiction can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a profound impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facets, ranging from lack of sleep to problems at school, when homework
is sacrificed
for a few more hours on computer and console. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the high rate of obesity in recent years has
been linked
in part to the sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
accompany gaming addiction.

In conclusion
, it is noticeable that there are a plethora of benefits to playing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game,
however
, I
firmly
believe that the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of it are much more significant.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people have argued about the function of video games. While a group in society supposes that these digital games are beneficial for mankind, others believe that they would be a distraction for the human mind. Although video game contains some positive sides, I consider it has more negative impacts on our minds and the following essay will discuss them in detail.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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