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Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples based on your experience. v.1

Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples based on your experience. v. 1
In this day and age, there is an increasing number of people who tend to travel independently and this phenomenon has both benefits and drawbacks which will be compared and analyzed in this essay. To commence with, one evident benefit to travelling solo is somewhat related to low budget. In other words, it is easier to keep up your allowance when visiting new places independently on the ground that traveller can decide for themself what to spend money on. Another reason why people are inclined to travel individually is boosting their confidence. Being on their road will help them to achieve valuable life skills, challenge their limits and ability to deal with obstacles. As a result, it turns them into a more confident person. Moreover, being a solo traveller make it much easier to interact with the locals. Therefore, you can embrace more chances to make more friends. There are some drawbacks of travelling alone that also need to be taken into account. First and foremost, personal safety could be a serious concern. One clear evidence is that when people travel individually, there is no one to watch their back. For example, it is much safer for people to get back to the hotel late at night when travelling with other person. Another major issue is that you will feel lonely when travelling alone. In other words, you will not be able to share the moment, for instance, there you are, stunned by a perfect panorama or a sensational skyline and there is no one to discuss just how wonderful it is but instead, you take a few pictures and leave. In conclusion, although travelling solo has certain negative effects such as personal safety concern and feeling of loneliness, it has an extremely positive influence on people budget and confidence
In this day and age, there is an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tend to travel
independently
and this phenomenon has both benefits and drawbacks which will
be compared
and analyzed in this essay.

To commence with, one evident benefit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
solo is somewhat related to low budget.
In other words
, it is easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up your allowance when visiting new places
independently
on the ground that
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
can decide for
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
what to spend money on. Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
to travel
individually
is boosting their confidence. Being on their road will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to achieve valuable life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, challenge their limits and ability to deal with obstacles.
As a result
, it turns them into a more confident person.
Moreover
, being a solo
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it much easier to interact with the locals.
Therefore
, you can embrace more chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more friends.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
alone that
also
need to
be taken
into account.
First
and foremost, personal safety could be a serious concern. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
evidence is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel
individually
, there is no one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their back.
For example
, it is much safer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to the hotel late at night when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
with other person. Another major issue is that you will feel lonely when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
alone.
In other words
, you will not be able to share the moment,
for instance
, there you are, stunned by a perfect panorama or a sensational skyline and there is no one to discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
how wonderful it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
, you take a few pictures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
solo has certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects such as personal safety concern and feeling of loneliness, it has an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
budget and confidence
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples based on your experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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