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Nowadays,people communicate less with their family members.to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Nowadays, people communicate less with their family members. WY7YK
In the contemporary era, most people busy in their own world and they do not have enough to communicate with their family members. I totally agree with the statement and will discuss the reasons in the ensuant paragraphs before drawing a reasonable conclusion. To commence with the reasons why i agree with the statement that people communicate less with their family members, first and foremost reason is that they have a hectic schedule. In order to say that nowadays the peices of things are increasing rapidly and people do a lot of efforts to fulfill their daily requirements. For instance, people started doing jobs for better survival and they spend whole day at workplaces and sometimes people also prefer to work overtime because salary of overtime is more as compared to only working hours. Along with this, there are many people who love to visting new places with their friends because they are interested in getting more knowledge about the things. As a result, they do not communicate with their family members and their bonds with the family members become weaker. Furthermore, new generation is migrating to different countries for better studies. When they go their they have lot of responsibilities as well as study and work pressure on their minds. Hence, they also forget to call to their family members. A recent survey was conducted by cambridge university in which shown that 75% students do not communicate with family because of so many responsibilities and only 25% learners communicate with their family through internet serivces like skyper, whatsapp and facetime. Besides this, people use technical gadgets such as mobile phones, laptop and computers by sitting alone in the room and spend a whole day in it by watching movies, listen songs and playing online games with siblings even though without talking with parents. In conclusion, i totally agree with the notion that, these days more people are busy in their work and students in their studies so they do not much time to communicate with their parents. I suggests that if people have hectic schedule than it is the responsibility of that individual to manage their work and give some time to their family.
In the contemporary era, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and will discuss the reasons in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ensuant
paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing a reasonable conclusion. To commence with the reasons why
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
less with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
,
first
and foremost reason is that they have a hectic schedule. In order to say that nowadays the
Possible spelling mistake found.
peices
of things are increasing
rapidly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts to fulfill their daily requirements.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
doing jobs for better
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
survival and
they spend whole day at workplaces and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
salary of overtime is more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
working hours. Along with this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
visting
new places with their friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are interested
in getting more knowledge about the things.
As a result
, they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and their bonds with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
become weaker.
Furthermore
, new generation is migrating to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries for better studies. When they go their they have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
responsibilities
as well
as study and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pressure on their minds.
Hence
, they
also
forget to call to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. A recent survey
was conducted
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
cambridge
university in which shown that 75% students do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
responsibilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
25% learners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
through internet
Possible spelling mistake found.
serivces
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
skyper
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
facetime
.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technical gadgets such as mobile phones, laptop and computers by sitting alone in the room and spend a whole day in it by watching movies, listen songs and playing online games with siblings
even though
without talking with parents.
In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that, these days more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and students in their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not much time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with their parents. I
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: "suggest".
suggests
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have hectic schedule than it is the responsibility of that individual to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people communicate less with their family members.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
365 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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