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MANY PEOPLE THESE DAYS TRAVEL FOR WORK OR SPEND MORE HOURS ON WORK .DOES THIS TREND HAS MORE ADVANTAGES OR DISADVANTAGES . WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WORK LIFE BALANCE?

MANY PEOPLE THESE DAYS TRAVEL FOR WORK OR SPEND MORE HOURS ON WORK. DOES THIS TREND HAS MORE ADVANTAGES OR DISADVANTAGES. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WORK LIFE BALANCE? pJp1y
In Modern era, travelling is the best way to find part -time jobs and it is also significant part of individuals life. However, nowadays majority of people travel for finding jobs and spend enough hours on their work. Moreover, this trend has numerous merits and demerits. Now, I will be discussed this concept in upcoming paragraphs before reaching an appropriate conclusion. Firstly, in present time inflation has increased by leaps and bounds. Namely, in India it has been seen that people travel for work and utilise less time with family and friends. However, they do not have time for themselves by virtue of inflation. Moreover, numerous people get mentally depressed by doing enough work because in overseas countries every individual work atleast 11 hours, but sometimes conditions will become worst and they face many difficulties there. Furthermore, sometimes workers do not take care their health and become physically unfit. On the flip side, individuals who have well -settled in foreign countries earn enough money and become financially strong because they have experience about their work, also they know the behaviour, likes and dislikes of their partners. During travelling and working they attain knowledge about distinctive fields. Additionally, they grab good goals if they work for a long time in a well-settled company. Particularly, in India tesla motors is a environmental protection organisation where all people work and company give bonus to their experienced workers. So, i conclude that work life balance is a most essential part of everyone's life. Also, the ideal youngsters utilise their time on their work, not on other smutty things.
In Modern era, travelling is the best way to find part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
-time
jobs and it is
also
significant part of individuals life.
However
, nowadays
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel for finding jobs and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
hours on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, this trend has numerous merits and demerits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I will
be discussed
this concept in upcoming paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching an appropriate conclusion.

Firstly
, in present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
inflation has increased by leaps and bounds.
Namely
, in India it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family and friends.
However
, they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves by virtue of inflation.
Moreover
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mentally depressed by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in overseas countries every individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
11 hours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
conditions will become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
worst and
they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties there.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
workers do not take care their health and become
physically
unfit.

On the flip side, individuals who have well -settled in foreign countries earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money and become
financially
strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have experience about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
also
they know the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, likes and dislikes of their partners. During travelling and working they attain knowledge about distinctive fields.
Additionally
, they grab
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
goals if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a well-settled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Particularly
, in India tesla motors is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
environmental protection
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
where all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
give bonus to their experienced workers.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
conclude that
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance is a most essential part of everyone's life.
Also
, the ideal youngsters
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, not on other smutty things.
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IELTS essay MANY PEOPLE THESE DAYS TRAVEL FOR WORK OR SPEND MORE HOURS ON WORK. DOES THIS TREND HAS MORE ADVANTAGES OR DISADVANTAGES. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WORK LIFE BALANCE?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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