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Nowadays, people can easily find and share information online. What problems can this cause and what are solutions ?

Nowadays, people can easily find and share information online. What problems can this cause and what are solutions? MMya9
An increasing people thinks that the car is the main private transport for the city society. This essay will examine several issues that could be appeared by using this kind of transportation and a possible solution that can be applied to this issue. One of the major problems that can appear by using a private car is a high traffic rate, which can lead to another problem, raising the concentration of particulate matters in the air. A high traffic rate is the main problem faced by a city society. A City usually has a massive volume of the private car while sometimes the rate of car user is higher than the rate of new road construction. As a result, the road could not maintain all the cars in one go which can cause a high traffic rate. For instance, in developing countries such as Indonesia, the new road construction rate is lower than the rate of the car user and private transport user which make Indonesia became one of the most traffic countries in the world. Other than that, using cars massively can cause a high pollutant concentration relished on the air and it cannot be controlled. The particulate matter concentration and some greenhouse gases can be very high and it can cause respiratory issues, particularly for the pedestrians. Also, it has a bad impact on long term living. For instance, the long term effect that we already experienced the small part of it is the depletion of the ozone layer by the greenhouse gases. Furthermore, the possible solution to fix this problem is the improvement of the public transportation system by the local government. In other words, public transportation needs to be improved so it can be more convenient, safe, comfortable and on time. Besides that, public transportation is using an LNG as a fuel source rather than gasoline, which is more environmentally friendly. Thus, by using public transportation, higher traffic rates and environmental degradation can be avoided. To sum up, high traffic rates and air pollution are the problems that can be appeared by using private transportation such as car and the possible solution to fix this is to use the public transportation provide by the local government.
An increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
transport for the city society. This essay will examine several issues that could
be appeared
by using this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and a possible solution that can
be applied
to this issue.

One of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that can appear by using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, which can lead to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, raising the concentration of particulate matters in the air. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
faced by a city society. A City
usually
has a massive volume of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
user is higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of new road construction.
As a result
, the road could not maintain all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in one go which can cause a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
such as Indonesia, the new road construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is lower than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
user and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
transport user which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Indonesia became one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
countries in the world.

Other than that, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
massively
can cause a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pollutant concentration relished on the air and it cannot
be controlled
. The particulate matter concentration and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
greenhouse gases can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
and it can cause respiratory issues,
particularly
for the pedestrians.
Also
, it has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on long term living.
For instance
, the long term effect that we already experienced the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part of it is the depletion of the ozone layer by the greenhouse gases.

Furthermore
, the possible solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
system by the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can be more convenient, safe, comfortable and on time.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is using an LNG as a fuel source
rather
than gasoline, which is more
environmentally
friendly.
Thus
, by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
and environmental degradation can
be avoided
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
and air pollution are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that can
be appeared
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and the possible solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
provide by the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people can easily find and share information online. What problems can this cause and what are solutions?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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