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Nowadays people buy a lot of unnecessary manufactured products. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays people buy a lot of unnecessary manufactured products. Is this a positive or negative development? Yd8Pd
Nowadays, some people have really high quality of life, so they tend to buy goods that they do not need. Meanwhile, plenty of people protest this idea and they believe that we should live an economical life. While it may be true that encouraging shopping though people may has some benefits, buying right things is as efficient, if not more, for both the individuals and the governments. First and foremost, sufficent buying can save the environment. Consuming more things means we need more factories to meet the demands of consumers. More factories are built, more carbon dioxide released to the environment. This emission has tremendous damage, which means cause numerous environmental problems. For instance, a recent research shows that, when the Covid-19 pandemic comes, the economy goes down, so the demands have diminished to suitable with the circumstance. When the amount of products overcomes the need, factories need to cease the production progress, which means the humongous amount of carbon dioxide can decrease. Some people will counteract with this idea and say that buying overwhelms the need allow the economy to grow. This may be true. However, the expenditures to pay for the damage of the environment is expected to significantly increase. The profit has the ratio with the tax for the environment. More profit can make, more tax need to be cost. Furthermore, enough buying can save a lot of money to do some meaningful activities. With that amount of money, people can spend it doing many things. To illustrate, people can send money to do charitable work, help impoverished children pursue their dream to come to school. Today, the majority of us have opportunities to go to school and we believe that is a really simple thing. But in somewhere, many adolescents have to drop out of school because of lacking money for tuiton fee. With the quantity of money that we spend wastefully, a lot of teenagers can continue to follow their learning progress. Not only that, with some intelligent consumers, the amount of cash that they have saved can use in some life-long ambitions. These days, plenty of people have abundance of wishes such as: travelling around the world and so on, but they never can achieve that due to the shortage of financial condition. Meanwhile, wise buyers can easily do their targets with a reasonable buying list. They can do lot of works that the extravagant consumerism never can. In conclusion, we can not negate the role of buying, but the economical buying is more advantagous because of two primary reasons: saving the environment and money. So, I disagree with the idea of buying things that we do not need.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
really
high quality of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
protest this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
idea and
they believe that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
life. While it may be true that encouraging shopping though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
right things is as efficient, if not more, for both the individuals and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

First
and foremost,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sufficent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
can save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Consuming more things means we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more factories to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demands of consumers. More factories
are built
, more carbon dioxide released to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. This emission has tremendous damage, which means cause numerous environmental problems.
For instance
, a recent research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, when the Covid-19 pandemic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
, the economy goes down,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the demands have diminished to suitable with the circumstance. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of products overcomes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
, factories
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to cease the production progress, which means the humongous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of carbon dioxide can decrease.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will counteract with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
overwhelms the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the economy to grow. This may be true.
However
, the expenditures to pay for the
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
significantly
increase. The profit has the ratio with the tax for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. More profit can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
, more tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be cost
.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meaningful activities. With that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend it doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to do charitable work,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
impoverished children pursue their dream to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to school.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the majority of us have opportunities to go to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
we believe
that is
a
really
simple thing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in somewhere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adolescents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
drop out of school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuiton
fee. With the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that we spend
wastefully
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can continue to follow their learning progress. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intelligent consumers, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of cash that they have saved can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
life-long ambitions. These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have abundance of wishes such as: travelling around the world and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they never can achieve that due to the shortage of financial condition. Meanwhile, wise buyers can
easily
do their targets with a reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
list. They can do
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
works that the extravagant consumerism never can.
In conclusion
, we can not negate the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
advantagous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two primary reasons: saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things that we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people buy a lot of unnecessary manufactured products. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
445 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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