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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.416

Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 416
It is often argued that winning games are the key and the only way to bring satisfaction to the players. In my opinion, I completely disagree that games are only enjoyable in a winning situation. On one hand, there are a lot of types of games that only purpose is only to achieve the highest score. In other words, it is practically hard to determine a winner for these games. Although, sometimes people will play with friends and compare which one had the highest score among each other. However, these situations do not happen everyday and people still enjoy playing with themselves. For example, Tetris which is popular among many old players and even some youngsters. Tetris is a simple game which only requires each player to gain as many points as possible. Compare each score among players are only optional and without that feature the game is still pretty much fun to play. Thus, there are various fun games that are not purposely for winning but only for entertainment. On the other hand, even when losing, a competitive game could also bring pleasure. The thrilled and competition brings determination to improve with every game. It cannot be denied that some gamers will feel desperate with each loss. Nevertheless, the enjoy of games not only come from the satisfaction of winning, but from every interaction made and development gained on every game. For instance, the most played games in the last decade, DOTA 2, still bring a lot of newbies. Even though the game is over 10 years and have a lot of professionals, the new players still find it enjoyable. That's why the determination of fun in games cannot be measured only by winning. In conclusion, games are an entertainment that could bring joy even if the players could not become the champion because there are a lot factors to get the excitement.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are the key and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
satisfaction to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. In my opinion, I completely disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
enjoyable in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winning
situation.

On one hand, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
purpose is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to achieve the highest score.
In other words
, it is
practically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to determine a winner for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Although,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will play with friends and compare which one had the highest score among each other.
However
, these situations do not happen
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
enjoy playing with themselves.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tetris
which is popular among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tetris
is a simple game which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
requires each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
to gain as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
points as possible. Compare each score among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
optional and without that feature the game is
still
pretty much fun to play.
Thus
, there are various fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that are not
purposely
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for entertainment.

On the other hand
, even when losing, a competitive game could
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
pleasure. The thrilled and competition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
determination to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
with every game. It cannot
be denied
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gamers will feel desperate with each loss.
Nevertheless
,
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'enjoy' is correct. If 'enjoy' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the enjoy
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the satisfaction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winning
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from every interaction made and development gained on every game.
For instance
, the most played
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in the last decade,
Possible spelling mistake found.
DOTA
2,
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of newbies.
Even though
the game is over 10 years and have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of professionals, the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
still
find it enjoyable. That's why the determination of fun in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
cannot
be measured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by winning.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are an entertainment that could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
joy even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
could not become the champion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
factors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the excitement.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 416

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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